eurydicebound: (Dresden Files RPG)
Blargh. No garden. Maybe some container gardening on the porch, which makes me a little sad, but that's what happens when we're broke in the summer. Life goes on.

So, We played our first session. It went fairly slowly as we've only got one book between us and we're all learning the system/setting, so we didn't cover a lot of ground. That said, the RP was good and people seemed to have fun with it.

We started with Ducaleon waking up from a dream:

"A pleasant day, brilliant skies -- so blue it hurts. Surrounded by flowers, with bees buzzing pleasantly and making a drowsy murmur. He stops to sniff a flower, which turns in his arms to a young woman, who embraces him with a kiss.

Before he can really respond, however, she breaks the kiss and moves out of his arms, disappearing into the crowd. He realizes that he's now in the middle of a tournament. The murmur of the bees is now the cheering of the crowd. He looks over and sees a knight on horseback at the end of the field, his silver armor glinting gold in the light. He lifts his lance and rides at the course, threading the point through a series of rings. The last ring is larger than the others and made of gold. As he thrusts the lance through it, the weapon changes to a spear that takes the ring. Blood fountains out of the center of the ring, staining the blue sky with crimson. It smells of iron and honey."

Then he wakes up.

Ducaleon meets at breakfast with his siblings and mother (his stepfather is elsewhere, taking care of house business). The heirs are informed that Royce Martell, namesake of the heir of the house, is coming for dinner, with an eye to checking on the house and his niece and nephew. The rest of the family is not required until dinner, but will need to be available then. Septa Setia is asked to stay close at hand, however, and help with the preparations.

Se (Shae), Ducaleon, Ginneva, Oberyn and Ser Talon (who's been nearly ever present at the manor in the two weeks since Ginneva returned from abroad) decide to go hunting for the day. There are small bets placed and they decide on going by themselves, just taking some dogs and having lunch on what they catch, and spending some quality time together. Along the way Ducaleon tells Oberyn and Se about his dream, while Ser Talon and Ginneva spend a great deal of time in rapt conversation, making the three brothers somewhat uneasy -- seeing your sister get wrapped up in the guy you've known since you were all in short pants (and whose status is less than yours) is enough to make anyone think twice.

Septa Setia, meantime, is cornered by Lady Siobhan. She asks what Setia thinks of Ser Talon and reveals that Royce is also bringing his son, Darian, along, with an eye to a potential match between Darian and Ginneva. She asks Setia to downplay her own appearance and help pick out Ginneva's most flattering gowns for dinner, and then Siobhan will choose from among them. The anniversary of Siobhan's first husband's death is also the next day, and there will be services in his honor. She is to assist with the services, information gathering, and facilitating the engagement of Ginneva. When Setia went upstairs to sort through Ginneva's clothing, she find Ginneva's Braavosi sword, revealing her Water Dancer training -- what Setia chooses to do with this information remains to be seen, as she replaced it roughly where she found it and didn't say a word.

Back with the hunting party, they came upon the old tower ruins after catching a brace of pheasant and decided to have lunch. They came upon an old campsite, which gave them some pause. Se sat down and started prepping the birds for roasting, unconcerned, while Ducaleon and Oberyn talked. Ser Talon rode about the ruins, making sure there was no one there, while Ginneva joined him. Ducaleon noticed a couple more old campfire sites and found a lock of long woman's hair snagged on some brush. He started suggesting that they leave, while Ser Talon noticed a group of three men, hiding in the trees. Before Ducaleon can really get his brothers' attention, however, a young, attractive woman holding a slack bow steps out and begs to join them for their meal. There's banter, mostly by Se, but it isn't long before she insists that they stay and eat with her, and then gives a sharp whistle, drawing three more people out from hiding (not the ones previously seen). These have weapons drawn.

We roll initiative, and it seems like she might succeed in capturing one or more of the Mellifera heirs, when Se rolls and spits the two men standing next to her through the neck, firing two arrows at once and killing them both instantly. Oberyn hides and Ducaleon fires and injures one, while Ser Talon rides at two on the opposite side of the campground and lays about him with his maul. Ginneva fires at another, wounding him and knocking him out of a tree -- all this before the bandits even get a turn. Oberyn decides this is a good time to try to avoid more bloodshed and turns this into an intrigue battle, where Ducaleon does Fast Talk to keep her from using cunning, Ginneva Assists, and Se tries to read her and figure out what she's trying to do here. Oberyn succeeds in his role, and she calls off her men -- such losses were not in her plan. Instead, she apologizes, negotiates safe passage for her men, and requests that they take her to meet their lady mother--much to everyone's surprise.

And that's where we'll pick up next time!
eurydicebound: (coffee)
I chose this icon because I haven't had hot coffee since Wednesday. I haven't had it because of getting my wisdom teeth out on that same day. Luckily, my husband loves me and has made me iced coffee, but still.

So, my first order of business this summer was to get all my put-off dental work done. I have accomplished this, filling 4 cavities and removing my last two wisdom teeth. I am still recovering from the latter. Blargh. Still, I'm glad they're gone. It would have been a mistake to leave them much longer--apparently the impacted one was getting close to a nerve that, if damaged, could numb my lower lip and chin permanently. Not something I was excited about hearing. All is well, though, and now I'm done with it for the foreseeable future.

I need to start getting back into Latin this summer, so I've got my book on order. Hopefully by the end of the summer, my starter refresher course will be done.

The much-put-off garden goes in on Monday. 10 x 10, which I think is smaller than I was initially planning, but it fits our budget much better. Tomatoes, grape tomatoes, tomatillos, zucchini, squash, a range of herbs, leeks, green beans... not bad for a starter sort of thing. Maybe some carrot seeds. We've bought some deer fence mesh and we'll be getting the poles tomorrow, along with the tiller we're renting and some garden soil to mix in -- oh, and the plants, along with a few things that will still start from seed. This is pretty much a learning experience for us this year, but we're all prepared for that. We'll know better going forward, and if we manage it well, we may end up making the garden bigger next year.

In a couple of weeks we're going to Pittsburgh for tattoos, and then the weekend following the 4th of July we'll be in Oklahoma, visiting family and picking up boys. Aside from GenCon, that's the extent of the trips this summer--which is just as well, really.

We're starting a curriculum this summer for the boys called the "Not Eaten By Wolves Initiative," which basically involves making sure they have sufficient survival skills to make GenCon a good experience for everyone. I'm an industry insider GoH and our book will be out, so Matt and I will both be busy (as will Sarah). We therefore will be trying to get the boys to some degree of capable independence before the summer is out, assessing their life skills and rewarding them accordingly. We've never really pushed them to be independent... I suspect Will will take to it a bit more easily than Al. We'll see. GenCon is a fraught environment for them both, because it's so spread out and so hard to find people, and so full of distractions. That said, I believe they can handle it, and any skills they manage to acquire that they don't already have will stand them in good stead this summer and beyond. We also have some fun family events planned: an evening at the drive-in movie, a fencing lesson, Cedar Point, a bit of camping, laser tag, etc. I think they'll be in good shape.

Lots of reading and TV watching to do. Also working ROBLOX full time, so that's cutting into my TV watching time. I have a disk of The Wire I've had since *mumble mumble* that I need to watch -- 2nd disk, first season. I'm still playing Alice: Madness Revisited, and I still love it. Need to buy the first one too.

And that's another post done. Yay! :)
eurydicebound: (bleed words)
So, went to Origins this year. I ended up doing stints in the Drive Thru RPG booth for most of the con, and I have to say, aching feet aside, I really enjoyed it. I felt kind of like I was back on familiar and well-loved ground, and it made me happy to be there again. It was a good con, despite the shift in time of year. Attendance was down, as I suspected it would, and I think sales were pretty dismal for everyone. That said... I have hopes that next year will be better. Now that the con is further from GenCon, there's a lot of companies who are considering returning.

I enjoyed working the con. I enjoyed getting to socialize with other designer folk again. I even did night three of Lone Shark's traditional Origins podcast. We went to Kooma for sushi Thursday night, and that was pretty awesome -- the sushi wasn't spectacular, but the bulgogi I had was amazing, and Matt got introduced to bibimbop, which has spurred a search for stone bowls and recipes for use at home. :) Jeni's was had twice over the course of the con, which was awesome. Their wheatgrass, pear, and vinho verde sorbet does not taste like you just licked a lawn. :) Good times, good times.

I attempted to run some demos for curse the darkness, but my players failed to show up. I also played some. It should be noted that I caught a bug and was somewhat under the weather for most of Origins. I suspect this affects my memory of various stuff I played in. Just that disclaimer up front.

I played... three games, that's right. One was Ashen Stars, which was a Savage Worlds space opera game. I played a genetically altered human while Matt was a mantis warrior. I liked it well enough -- the GM was good. It really didn't do much for me, though, and I didn't find the setting terribly compelling. This might have to do with it being a con game--I'm not sure.

The second should have been Jumpers, but the company cancelled the events prior to Origins and the message got lost somewhere. We ended up playing Mark Truman's new game, Our Last Best Hope. If you've ever seen a disaster sort of movie where a crack team of specialists gets sent to deal with the one thing that will kill off the entire planet... well, that's what this game emulates. I had a lot of fun with it -- so much, in fact, that I'm going to write a hack for it inspired by Inception. :)

The third should have been Time Shredders, but again no GM. We ended up playing a game called Broken Sky, which was a) entirely too fiddly for the concept for no good reason that I could discern and b) being run by an inexperienced GM who basically got wrapped up in playing with a friend, who he didn't have to explain anything to, and forgot that he was running the game to advertise it to new players. We actually ducked out early. I like the base concept, but I'm really not sure I care for the game at all.

I had a really good time at the con, and I got to meet some new people, make friends, and have some really fun conversation. I even saw Wil Wheaton in a kilt, which is nothing to sneeze at. The man has nice calves. :) It made me realize that I'm looking forward to GenCon--it's going to be a really good summer.
eurydicebound: (Dresden Files RPG)
So, running a 4-shot or so game of Song of Ice and Fire RPG (or SIFRP). I was inspired to do this because it's something I've been wanting to do for a while, I'm not in the midst of school, and I need to get a handle on how the system actually functions a bit better so I can keep writing for it (hey there, Joe!).

So last Monday, pre-Origins, was chargen. The first session will be next Monday. I am already behind. :) I was really pleased, though, with how we did on time with the chargen. We ran a bit over and I didn't quite get as much info on how the characters interact as I'd have liked, but we got the house and the characters done in one night, with lots of semi-random rolling (thank you, Green Ronin, thank you) on all those lovely tables.

Experience with the property: Neither [identity profile] affectionsedge.livejournal.com nor Toasty had read the books. [personal profile] innocent_man had read to where Bran gets pushed out of the tower and stopped. [identity profile] docelboze.livejournal.com is catching up to where I am in the books. Glen's read all of them so far. So there's a pretty wide range of familiarity. To make sure everyone's on the same page, we watched the first episode of the series. We're basically starting a bit before that, with Robert firmly on the throne and Jon Arryn as the Hand.

So, without further ado, here's the House and the characters.

Read more... )
eurydicebound: (Default)
Because I always sit down and then I can't think what to write about, and so I don't write anything.

1) Game of Thrones chargen
2) Origins retrospective
3) Summer plans
4) House plans
5) My MA experience

Let's see how many of these I can get done this week. :)

@ Origins.

May. 31st, 2012 04:32 pm
eurydicebound: (bleed words)
So here I am, at Origins, acting like a real industry person again. It's been a long time, Exhibit Hall Floor, my old nemesis. Thank you, DriveThruRPG, for having the squishy foam floor squares to stand on.

Thus far, the con is pretty good. I'm sore and hurting a bit, but I'm in way better shape than a lot of my industry compatriots. My morning demo was not well attended, but it's Thursday morning. Did my time in the booth, saw lots of cool things. Sat in one of Geek Chic's $600 8-hour chairs. Holy god, they're AMAZING. My back felt better almost instantly. I can't know cannot have one,much less a dining-room set worth, but they are so, so worth it. Sort of wish we could do one a year or something until we have them all. Go go gadget game company! :)

CtD seems very well received. I'm excited by this. it's a good thing.

Had four cavities filled yesterday. Spent a lot of yesterday hurting in a low-level way. Discovered today that my teeth are sensitive. Oops. Not fun. And my remaining two wisdom teeth come out next week. It should be very exciting. I'll just be glad when it's done.

I'm going to try to get back into updating this at least once every other day. I miss having this to look back over. I think it'll do me good to write regularly again on something that isn't schoolwork.
eurydicebound: (Default)
So much... there's so much to post about, and I don't manage to get any of it up anymore. Sigh. But I can cover some of the things I've been watching/reading.

First, though: Home again. So glad to be home. Seeing the boys and Phil and Lika & Bruce was wonderful, but nothing beats my own bed and a husband to snuggle with.

Okay.

Read the Hunger Games trilogy. I enjoyed it a great deal. I really think the third book might be my favorite. Collins' writing style really improves over the three novels. If you haven't read them, I recommend that you do. Very pleased to see that the additions to the movie were really aspects of things that become more clear in the later books. I thought it might be the case, but I'm glad to see that borne out--and yet, none of them are spoilers. Did I mention that I thought the movie was amazing? Because I did.

Saw MiB III yesterday. It was surprisingly good. It's actually my favorite of the three. Go see it. Emma Thompson is really great, Josh Brolin is astounding, and it handles the cast and the property well.

Saw Pirates last weekend. I enjoyed it, although it's not the best of Aardman's work. You need to have a working understanding of 19th-century British history and culture to get the most out of it. It's worth seeing if you do, though. Very cute.

Currently reading The Bloody White Baron, by James Palmer, aka JamesCat from RPGnet. I'm really enjoying it. I have a soft spot for biographies that are well written and well researched. Good work, James. Next up on the reading list: Captain Alatriste.

Monday will have me doing a session of SIFRP, starting with showing everyone the first episode of the show and then doing chargen. Need to review a bit before that happens, just to make sure I've got the process down. Already watched the pilot myself, but am nowhere near caught up with the show. That's okay, I've got a summer.

Watched an episode of the Borgias. And Downton Abbey. Amazing. Damn. See, now I've got Rome, the Tudors, AND the Borgias to watch. And Boardwalk Empire. And Sherlock. And Downton Abbey. Sigh. Thank god I'm not a Doctor Who fan.

I will continue to update as media presents itself. :)
eurydicebound: (Default)
I'm now the proud owner of an MA in English. Even though I don't have the paper yet, I have finished my coursework, been accepted for the PhD program, and start classes in the fall.

What this means primarily is that I am now no longer too slammed to update. Hooray!

So. Hmm.

1) OMG I MISS MY KIDS. I go to visit them on Thursday this week. Those visits are always hard, and I'm crashing on a friend's couch, so that's even harder, but I can't wait to see them. It'll be good. Studying really took a toll on my time this semester, so I haven't seen them in person since January, but it was so worth it. I can't wait to celebrate with my kiddos. :)

2) I kind of hate 1950s literature. I know I hate the American version; I might hate the British version less, it's hard to say, but I definitely hate that. Modernism is just not me. It makes me all ranty. Blargh. Glad it's done. Also, the selections for that class had entirely too much casual rape in them for me to be comfortable. Perhaps the 50s also had entirely too much casual rape in them for me to be comfortable. It's very hard to tell.

3) I finally finished my shrug for my wedding here a few weeks back. It's lovely, but it'll look better after I lose weight. I know this because it looks way better on Sarah than on me. Harumph.

4) I have been to see a doctor, a real family-practice, knows my family, will see more than once, doctor. I'm in the process of re-evaluating my meds for my blood pressure. I still have to go get a mammogram--argh. I got the bitter news that running, or even strenuous walking, is all kinds of stupid for my ankle with the plate and screws. Apparently stress fractures are a thing. So instead, I'm restricted to the elliptical, cycling, and swimming. Of these, swimming is both the one I want least and the best for me, so it's going on the twice-a-week list as soon as I get another pair of goggles, because a) the dog chewed up my last pair and b) OMG WATER ON MY FACE. Sigh.

4a) My insurance does not cover any treatments for autism or autism-related things, so actually getting diagnosed as aspie is right out, because that could impact headaches, etc. This is unfortunate, because my sensory issues are getting worse as I get older. The Avengers really sucked for me, and by the time I came out, I was in full-on crying twitching meltdown. I know the kids are going to want to see it when I go visit... I'll have to come up with a way to cope.

4b) I have not lost as much weight as I'd like. Then again, I've been somewhat forcibly sedentary as neither my part-time job, nor school, nor studying are things I can do while exercising. Dieting while trying to prep for and pass an MA exam is perhaps not the best plan ever. That's okay, though, as I will now have time to clean house and garden and go to the gym. Very pleased about this. Will walk a lot in Seattle as well.

5) Si is doing well, but he freaked me out the other day when he tweaked his back, as apparently long dogs are prone to do. Idgit didn't seem to be in pain but didn't want to move his back legs. He is all right, though. Idgit.

6) We do not have a garden in. This gets fixed in the next two weeks.

7) The kickstarter gets its own post coming up.

8) I have been to a dentist for the first time in years. I have "very good dental hygiene." My gums are healthy, except a bit around my remaining wisdom teeth, which keep them irritated and swollen on and off. I have four very small, shallow cavities which we're gonna slap some spackle (or whatever they do) on next week. I am having my bottom two wisdom teeth extracted next month. Apparently they just do it with a local, even if one hasn't come through the gums. At least the pain meds will be in force.

9) We have a housemate. His name is John. John is good with the doggies, has work, and is generally a nice sort of person, and his rent helps with the lack of stipend this summer. Resultingly, the boys will have a room of their own on the second floor this year. It will be far less basement-y and will have a closet which hopefully they'll use.

10) This summer, I start studying Latin again. I have no words for this. Hopefully it'll be interesting. I still won't be able to order dinner with it.

Perhaps my next post will be less random. We'll see. :)
eurydicebound: (bleed words)
So. We made funding, which is COMPLETELY awesome. We get to have a book, and a kit, and all that nifty stuff!

Now what?




Well, we'd encourage you not to let it drop off your radar just yet. At 6k (just less than $800 away) we'll be releasing a pdf-only update featuring rules for including ghosts in your ctd game. At 7.5k, we'll be releasing a fiction anthology based in the curse the darkness universe--and given the interest that's been shown by a number of potential writers, it'll be something really special.

We're really excited about the possibilities of these items coming to pass; we're working on getting our company website up and running, and we've got a lot of things in mind for the future. With your help to get us started off with a success under our belts, we can do great things.
eurydicebound: (Default)
This is the best rejection letter I've ever gotten:

Dear Ms. Lyons,

Thanks so much for submitting to Tor.com, and for your extreme
patience while we evaluated your story. Unfortunately, I'm afraid that
"Swan Song" isn't quite right for us. It's always hard to reject
something well-written and unique. I wish you the best of luck placing
it elsewhere.

Please send us more of your stories in the future, and we'll try our
best to have better response times.

Best,

Tor.com Submissions Staff


Yay! They kinda liked it, if not enough to actually publish it! I win!
eurydicebound: (Default)
I am pondering using Kickstarter later this year. Matt and I are starting a game company, you see, and as with any start-up, we need a bit of a funding boost to get our first book into print/published.

Our game company is called Play Attention Games, and one of the precepts behind our company is, frankly, paying attention. Being engaged, being aware, being part of what's going on in a conscious, deliberate, ethical way. It was very distressing, then, to read about what's going on in the blogosphere regarding Rachel Marone, an artist who tried to use Kickstarter and ended up having a bad experience.(Her blog entry is here, btw, so you can see her story.

Her story is generating all kinds of outrage, as it was intended. Kickstarter, to my knowledge, has not responded to it at this time, nor has any major news media reported it. It's all by the bloggers for the bloggers at this point. Only time will tell if there's any larger issue going on inside the company, or if they are really as unethically unsympathetic as they seem.

BUT.

I will be honest and say that something about this rings false to me. I am uncomfortable with the fact that we have only the artist's side of the story. I am uncomfortable with the fact that it all happened a year ago, and there's no record. I am uncomfortable that she has called a Kickstarter employee out about it by name, now, a year later, rather than trying to solve the issue at the time (and if she did, in fact, try to solve it then, why not show us that?). I am uncomfortable that said employee is now being harassed on her Twitter account. I am even more uncomfortable that the artist is okay with that, as per her tweet, copied here:

Rachel Marone ‏ @rachel_marone

Reply
Retweet
Favorite
· Open

@mattycurry I'm publicly calling out @Piztachio because she is the one who banned me for having a stalker. #Kickstarter should fire her.

Two emails from a community manager at a time when it seems Kickstarter comments were not limited to only backers is not worthy of a shitstorm on a community manager of a small company a year later. It's just not.

According to Insider, Kickstarter has issued an apology for the response Rachel received. I'm good with that; I think it was appropriate. I will not be fully pleased, however, until I see Ms. Murone apologizing for unleashing the internet on a woman she last talked with a year ago, without any evidence that she fully explained her situation or offered the evidence of her cyberstalker that she seemed to be willing to offer to the Internet at large.

4/2 points

Apr. 3rd, 2012 11:00 am
eurydicebound: (strawberries)
Points: 33
Banked: -1

Read more... )
eurydicebound: (strawberries)
Been really bad about recording points lately. I've been keeping track in my head, but I think we're going to have to get a little austerity going again here so that I don't feel guilty about writing things down. :)

Being off my pills for a few days really jacked up my weight. I've gained and lost something like five pounds in the last week, and I don't actually think I'm done yet. I bought potassium supplements because I started feeling unwell--seems to have fixed it. I'm back down to 225.8, which seems up a bit from where I was before all that, but I've still got a bit of puff around my ankles/fingers, so we'll see what next week looks like. If I watch my food, it should be better regardless.

Read more... )
eurydicebound: (strawberries)
I am out of blood pressure pills. I'm not weighing myself again until I get a refill and a few days on them. Also, I was out of town traveling. I didn't go overboard with food and tried to keep to the plan, but I didn't even remotely count points.

Yesterday, though:

Points: 27
Banked: 4

ASECS 2012

Mar. 24th, 2012 10:32 am
eurydicebound: (bleed words)
So here I am, still in my jammies, sitting in my hotel room and listening to birds singing and kids playing down in the pool. I am in San Antonio, Texas, for the 2012 ASECS (American Society for Eighteenth-Century Studies) conference. This is my first conference, and I have to say... I have found my people. Especially among the other grad students and young professors. I made some new friends last night at the graduate student caucus social (margaritas on the Riverwalk are expensive) and I made some professor acquaintances earlier that day at lunch. The professor who chaired the panel I was on seemed really pleased with my talk, during which I managed to look at the audience, not stumble more than average, and have a couple of asides to make it less "oh look I'm reading from a page." I also came in well within my allotted time, which makes me happy, as we had four people on the panel. Eek. I also got some questions at the end, which surprised me, but seemed to go well too.

Next year the ASECS convention is in Cleveland, which is just a happy bit of serendipity for me. I've already talked with someone about co-chairing a panel, which may or may not happen since it's a year out, but it'll be fun to do. I'm also looking at having people over for dinner, though I have not yet informed Matt about this. :) I will definitely be submitting/doing panel things, though. I am really enthused about... nearly everything, really. I am a rare bird here as an MA student -- if I'm not the only one, I'm close. Then again, I've been accepted for my PhD, so I'm on the path. I think my biggest takeaway is just how much reading and familiarizing myself with my field I have yet to do. There's SO MUCH I just don't know about the current state of criticism and research, not to mention so many books I haven't yet read. I am slightly embarrassed to be at this stage and be here, where I really am sort of the clueless ingenue (and those are not words I thought I'd ever be saying), but by putting myself out there now, I'm getting a far better idea of what I need to be working on.

I really wish Matt could have come with me, but I'm still having a good time and I'm excited to be here. It'll be good to see him tomorrow, though; I am by no means content to do without him for any extended period of time. :)
eurydicebound: (strawberries)
Points: 26
Banked: 7

Breakfast 2
yogurt

Lunch 8
wrap, soda

snack 1
applesauce

Dinner 15
Chicken, bread, egg, cheese, soda, chips
eurydicebound: (Default)
Points: 29
Banked: 2

Breakfast 4
mini wheats, soymilk, coffee

Lunch 4
soup, crackers

snack 4
crackers, cheese

Dinner 17
steak 3, pasta 5, pudding 3, soda 6
eurydicebound: (Default)
Okay, so, time for a random update!

1) I'm at 225.6, officially. That means that despite not taking care of diet stuff through MA exam and illness and whatnot, I only gained back about a half pound, if that. I'm not convinced that's really as low as I am, given that Sue had a huge, awesome St. Patrick's Day dinner last night for us all, but it's close enough. If it's better next week, so be it. Trying to remember to count points today. Need to get back in the habit. Hula hooping may happen today.

2) I'm knitting this! hug-me-tight lace shrug I've been knitting this for a while. I'm kind of closing in on the end though, and the desire to start something new is almost more than I can stand. I also have two old projects I need to get started on again, because seriously, they've been on needles since before I moved here. I want them done so I can clear my plate and move on.

3) I feel almost human again after stress and MA exam and illness and whatnot. My last big stressbasket thing is my conference next weekend in San Antonio. If my paper is done and I present it and it goes well, then I just have the last two papers to write and maybe some summer work to find--comparatively easy projects. I'm looking forward to that.

4) I get to go see my boys the week after my semester ends! Yay! Going to stay with Phil and see boys during the day. I'm very excited. It's been too long. Planning what we should go do/see while we're there. I'm sad we can't make it a family trip this year, but maybe next year we can do that. We'll see.

5) I'm going to go see my family in July, apparently with Matt! Yay! We might even go through Kansas City along the way, just to be different and cross off an additional city/state from the list. Not to mention that would mean going through Chicago.... hmm. Interesting idea.

6) I still need to get a passport.

7) This summer will see the beginnings of getting Latin under my belt again. I've got two years to get to reading fluency. Hoo boy. Wish me luck.

8) The Adventures of Buckaroo Banzai in the 8th Dimension is sitting here, waiting for me to watch it with Matt. I'm looking forward to this immensely.

9) We just watched the new Clash of the Titans last night, having watched the old 80s Clash of the Titans the week before. Hmm. Actually, this deserves its own post.

Gosh, look what happens when I'm not crazy with school work. All must be right with the world. :)

Sleeeeepy

Mar. 19th, 2012 09:07 am
eurydicebound: (coffee)
And that's why I'm writing this, in an effort to wake up. Part of this is med related... part of it is that I'm not sleeping well from coughing and drainage and various things, and I worry that I'm keeping Matt up too. Flying in a few days is going to be a bitch.

Cael was not feeling well yesterday. Everything was hard. At one point, during his second nap, he came over and wasn't happy. I offered to hold him for a bit and he sort of draped himself across me. There's a particular comfort that comes from holding a small, largely boneless child, and it hit me then that Cael is not just the kid of someone I love, but he's my kid now too. He's my stepson, of which the important part is "my son." And that being a mom to him while he's with us is the right thing to do. It was a very strange feeling, knowing suddenly that this kiddo is mine to care for.

It was, of course, followed immediately by waves of crushing guilt, because I HAVE two sons, and shouldn't I be spending all my mom mojo on them? It's a false comparison, naturally, because they're older. They don't need me to pick them up and hold them while they're sleepy, nor would they really want me to do so. Even if I were there, being a mom to them is different.

I dunno. I don't think there's a way around this. My boys aren't small... it's harder for Matt to connect to them as a result. For that alone, I wish we'd met romantically years earlier, when we first moved to Seattle rather than when we did. Then again, that's wishing for something that never was, for had we met then, he wouldn't have been free to really love me and vice versa. But his kids are small and their needs are more immediate and more concrete, and everything's closer to the surface. He doesn't have to be apart from his kids and around mine most of the time... and so he doesn't have that same feeling, I think, either of attachment or guilt. And I wouldn't want him to, really... it just means that I'm kind of on my own with this.

Blargh.

In other news, still knitting. Have to make progress on my paper today. Have to get some reading done. Have to read my paper to someone too. Busy day. Still sleepy. We'll see if I can set aside the latter to deal with the former.
eurydicebound: (bleed words)
I've got a paper I'm presenting at a conference weekend after next. I have revised this paper twice already. I just got back feedback from my adviser, which he is very kindly providing for me, in which I get told that what I did in revision was okay, but more is needed. More, more, more, and in about 6 fewer pages. But the first paragraph is now really good.

Sigh.

I'm a good writer, overall. I have flaws, it's true, and I really do need to be in a place where I get unvarnished critique. I will get that here (though not meanspirited critique, which is equally important). It's the only way I'm going to get better. And yet, at the same time, I'm trying to transition from writing as a graduate student to writing as a full-fledged professional. It's the most daunting thing I've ever attempted, because I only now am beginning to see the ways in which I am not there yet, and learning to get to that point... that's going to be a bit of a bruising process. You may not know the book The Hero and The Crown, but there's one point wherein Luthe, the hermit sorcerer, is talking to Aerin, the erstwhile hero, about how exhausting it's been dragging her backwards by the heel through time to get back to where she belongs. I feel like I'm being dragged forward by the heel into really adult scholarship... I hope I can manage to make it on my own once I get there.

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eurydicebound

March 2013

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