eurydicebound

AKA: "... The Hell? What were you thinking?! Seriously!"

So I put up a profile on Match.com because various people had told me I should and I figured "eh." They have this "put up a profile for free" thing, where you only have to pay money if you want to email someone or read email sent to you. So I thought, okay. I'll see who replies and such and figure out if I think it would be worth the money to actually sign up.

Time passes. Rivers flow. New episodes of Project Runway air. All is quiet on the Western Front.

Until...

An email appears in my inbox that reads "Someone WINKED at you!" along with a picture and a very brief profile summary. I think to myself, "hmm." Said individual is sorta cute, looks fairly normal, might be worth it. I then clicked on the profile, figuring I'd take a closer look. And then I see it.

(I can't do this justice by paraphrasing, so I will quote the pertinent information here. If this is someone reading my LJ, I still don't feel bad in the least. Just... dude. *shakes head*)

My soulmate is a wolf girl (hypertrichosis)

About me and what I'm looking for

The person I am looking for is one in a million, maybe in a billion: an intelligent lady who happens to have hair everywhere. Read on. About me: as you can see on my profile, I am tall, fit, and a busy executive in work like. I enjoy multiple cultures, life in general, fun people, intelligence, good sense of humor. Now, about you: I have looked for you all my life, so far without success. Since I can remember, I have felt that my soulmate has a rare physical feature: hair everywhere (extreme hirsutism, hypertrichosis to be precise). Now, I am not just looking for a hairy woman. I am looking for someone who can be a friend, with which we can talk about everything in life, someone intelligent, fun, etc. Someone to laugh with and relate to. So here is my message in a bottle in the internet ocean. Will it reach *you*?

1) I have a picture up. Unless he believes that I wax my entire upper body on a daily basis, he'd know I did not meet this criteria.
2) Just... how the hell do you respond to that? Am I supposed to be flattered that he's looking for a bearded lady and picked me?
3) On the one hand, I can almost admire him for putting his desires/delusions right out there up front. On the other... damn. I'm half-tempted to email him back and say, "y'know that whole TMI thing? Yeah. You're there, man."

So... yeah. I boggle.

"For what do we exist, but to give sport to our neighbors and laugh at them in turn." Truer words were never spoken, friends. :)