![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
A good day
Mar. 30th, 2004 09:13 pmWell, I'm pretty happy with how today turned out. For two days in a row, we've taken the kids to the park and exercised. Just walking, but a journey of a thousand miles starts with your first lap on a half-mile track, or something to that effect. I even ran -- not far, really, and my ankle's so giving me shit about it now, but it was good. I didn't run like an old lady after all. I still ran like I remember running when I was 18. Given the ol' plates and screws in the ankle, I consider that a victory. I even did better than I have in years. I've got more muscle built up in my calves and shins now than I did, and it can support stuff like that far more easily than it used to.
After exercise today, I went to the store, bought the stuff for stir-fry, made dinner, set the table in the dining room, ate in the dining room, cleaned up, put away, bathed kids... all that good stuff. And I'm finishing up some redlines today.
For years now, I've been living pretty much in the defined "daughter in my mother's home" role. I'm not acting like a full responsible adult, because the larger part of that would be being responsible and making desicions for my household -- and it's not my household. I can't decide to rearrange my mom's kitchen. I can't decide to buy new furniture. I can't decide to trash all that old stuff in the other room. I just... can't. It isn't mine. It makes my mom unhappy when I do that stuff. So I don't. I've pretty much just unplugged, as it's easier that way.
Today I started plugging back in. I want a new house so badly, or even just an apartment somewhere -- anything that's my own again. I want to shop for groceries and have my own things about me and generally be able to set up things the way I like them. It's a dangerous thing, because if it doesn't work out for whatever wild reason and I can't move out, it's going to hurt like hell. I can't go on living like a guest, though. And I need to get back in practice so that when I do have my own place once more, I'll remember what it's like to shop for a family of four, to manage everyone's schedule, to clean from stem to stern, to organize and throw away and put away and all that stuff. It's going to take some work to get back in the groove, but I'm looking forward to it. It's been just way too long.
After exercise today, I went to the store, bought the stuff for stir-fry, made dinner, set the table in the dining room, ate in the dining room, cleaned up, put away, bathed kids... all that good stuff. And I'm finishing up some redlines today.
For years now, I've been living pretty much in the defined "daughter in my mother's home" role. I'm not acting like a full responsible adult, because the larger part of that would be being responsible and making desicions for my household -- and it's not my household. I can't decide to rearrange my mom's kitchen. I can't decide to buy new furniture. I can't decide to trash all that old stuff in the other room. I just... can't. It isn't mine. It makes my mom unhappy when I do that stuff. So I don't. I've pretty much just unplugged, as it's easier that way.
Today I started plugging back in. I want a new house so badly, or even just an apartment somewhere -- anything that's my own again. I want to shop for groceries and have my own things about me and generally be able to set up things the way I like them. It's a dangerous thing, because if it doesn't work out for whatever wild reason and I can't move out, it's going to hurt like hell. I can't go on living like a guest, though. And I need to get back in practice so that when I do have my own place once more, I'll remember what it's like to shop for a family of four, to manage everyone's schedule, to clean from stem to stern, to organize and throw away and put away and all that stuff. It's going to take some work to get back in the groove, but I'm looking forward to it. It's been just way too long.
