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One more post to this topic, and then I'm dropping it, as I really, really hate it and what it's done to my stress level lately.
You know, it's worth stating for the record that I don't expect everyone who saw the ads to have been offended (or to be offended upon seeing them now). I really don't. Everybody's got different buttons, and one man's chocolate is another man's peanut butter... or something to that effect. I do expect that if I am offended, people who ask for feedback will do me the courtesy of hearing me out when I explain it and respecting my opinion. Not that anyone who bothers to read my LJ hasn't or doesn't, just... I felt it was worth clarifying.
Someone I talked to over the past few days referred to the entire thing as politics. Well, no. It's about respect. It seems incredibly obvious to me, and it always surprises me that people don't see it the same way. Politics is a manipulative game people play, and referring to how someone feels as "political" certainly uses that aspect of the word's meaning. It's picking a fight.
I said something not because I'm a dyed-in-the-wool feminist, or because I tend toward the liberal side, or because I think that gender politics in gaming is a powder kig I'm just itchin' to blow. I said something because they made me feel icky, like that feeling you get when the dirty old man in the corner decides he's going to whack off to his mental picture of you and leers at you to let you know it--and to let you know there's nothing you can do about it. It was pointed out on the boards in question that men masturbate to women's images all the time (including yours, where yours is anyone he's ever seen or met) and you're being stupid if you let it bother you since there's nothing you can do to stop it. Aside from being one of the most broken arguments I've seen in a while (and lately that's saying something), it should be noted that people who respect those around them don't get out the frickin' porn while you're gaming together, whether you're a man or a woman. That's what the ads felt like -- not that they were actually pornographic, because they weren't, but that they were the equivalent of someone flashing a sign that said "Fuck Women Over Here!" in the middle of a co-ed social gathering. Not cool.
And whether or not certain readers here or elsewhere want to debate whether I'm being overly sensitive or not, it's important to note that I'm not the only one. It's not cool to make people feel icky, or to ignore when perfectly rational people are being made to feel that way by something that's going on. It's a form of bullying. Tradition alone doesn't make something right, and being a good guy (or girl) means that you take care of the people around you when you see that they need it. You don't have to get it, you don't have to agree with it, you just have to respect the people around you enough to decide that whatever it is can go on later or somewhere else instead. This may be idealistic, but it's also just practical.
Once again, I don't care if you don't agree with me. That's fine. I'll even discuss it with you so long as we can be all friendly and stuff. This is how I feel, though. This is important to me.
I guess that's all I wanted to say.
You know, it's worth stating for the record that I don't expect everyone who saw the ads to have been offended (or to be offended upon seeing them now). I really don't. Everybody's got different buttons, and one man's chocolate is another man's peanut butter... or something to that effect. I do expect that if I am offended, people who ask for feedback will do me the courtesy of hearing me out when I explain it and respecting my opinion. Not that anyone who bothers to read my LJ hasn't or doesn't, just... I felt it was worth clarifying.
Someone I talked to over the past few days referred to the entire thing as politics. Well, no. It's about respect. It seems incredibly obvious to me, and it always surprises me that people don't see it the same way. Politics is a manipulative game people play, and referring to how someone feels as "political" certainly uses that aspect of the word's meaning. It's picking a fight.
I said something not because I'm a dyed-in-the-wool feminist, or because I tend toward the liberal side, or because I think that gender politics in gaming is a powder kig I'm just itchin' to blow. I said something because they made me feel icky, like that feeling you get when the dirty old man in the corner decides he's going to whack off to his mental picture of you and leers at you to let you know it--and to let you know there's nothing you can do about it. It was pointed out on the boards in question that men masturbate to women's images all the time (including yours, where yours is anyone he's ever seen or met) and you're being stupid if you let it bother you since there's nothing you can do to stop it. Aside from being one of the most broken arguments I've seen in a while (and lately that's saying something), it should be noted that people who respect those around them don't get out the frickin' porn while you're gaming together, whether you're a man or a woman. That's what the ads felt like -- not that they were actually pornographic, because they weren't, but that they were the equivalent of someone flashing a sign that said "Fuck Women Over Here!" in the middle of a co-ed social gathering. Not cool.
And whether or not certain readers here or elsewhere want to debate whether I'm being overly sensitive or not, it's important to note that I'm not the only one. It's not cool to make people feel icky, or to ignore when perfectly rational people are being made to feel that way by something that's going on. It's a form of bullying. Tradition alone doesn't make something right, and being a good guy (or girl) means that you take care of the people around you when you see that they need it. You don't have to get it, you don't have to agree with it, you just have to respect the people around you enough to decide that whatever it is can go on later or somewhere else instead. This may be idealistic, but it's also just practical.
Once again, I don't care if you don't agree with me. That's fine. I'll even discuss it with you so long as we can be all friendly and stuff. This is how I feel, though. This is important to me.
I guess that's all I wanted to say.
