eurydicebound

My houseguest, Nicole, is returning home today. I am sad -- having her here has been a fantastic time. I hope she and Trey move up here soon. Aside from having friends over, this weekend was really a mixed bag. Lots of good socializing and planning, lots of bits of suck scattered here and there as well, along with a minor revelation or two along the way. Among them, the following:

My grandfather has been diagnosed with bone cancer. They're not sure how far it's spread or how virulent it is. He's not in pain, but that's really the only blessing out of it. He's had cancer before and was treated with chemo, and apparently developing bone cancer is one of the possible side effects. They may do a few rounds of low-grade chemo just to see the effects, but quality of life is the primary concern. He's 97. It probably won't be what kills him, but it definitely won't be preserving his current life span any. I'm going to have to find a way to go see him somehow. Gah.

Terrified of school. I'm going back, and I'll fax in the registration forms today, but I've been unconsiously putting it off for two weeks. Looking at it just overwhelms me. I'm not putting it off any longer, but.... gah.

I have some decisions I have to make. The news in the first item along with a harder look at my finances has made me aware that I have to redirect my energy. There are things I've been wanting to do and trying to do that I can no longer justify, whether in effort or bandwidth or expenses. I'm really rather unhappy about this, but there's no way around it. My family and my work and all those responsible adult things have to come first. Trying to do everything just invites more drama into my life, and that is one thing I don't need. Gah, cubed.

Life is rarely what we want it to be. Sometimes all you can do is make the best of what you have. I hope that ends up being good enough.