Dad update

[eurydicebound]

Talked to Mom today. He's sort of settling into the VA home. His anxiety meds don't seem to do more than take the edge off, and he's up at the nurse's desk asking for them to call Mom every half hour or so during the day. He still wants to go home. He still doesn't remember when or where the place he is happens to be half the time. He can remember things if there's enough senses hit at once to make an impression or if they go on for a while (he remembers movies, for example) but he can't remember things you tell him, or things he does.

He doesn't know where his clothes are in his room, for example, or where his underwear drawer is, or when it's time to eat or take a shower.... He'll do it if you remind him and help him in that direction as he's still capable of doing it, but any sense of organization is gone. He's got no frame of reference for anything anymore. At the same time, he's becoming more aware of things around him. He tells Mom now that he doesn't recognize the hospital when come back from one of their dates together, whereas he likely didn't recognize it before either but was willing to just go along with it. He can eventually figure out that he was wrong, which can't be easy for him either... not being able to trust your thoughts and perceptions... gah.

I love him. I can't help him. I'll see him for a few days at Christmas along with the boys, and that's the best I can do. This... just totally isn't how I ever thought it would go, I guess.

I miss him.