...After all, if they were interested in talking to me, wouldn't they have made an effort too?
Er, no.
Oh, should I elaborate? Why, of course.... ;)
If friendships have attenuated, you do share a measure of responsibility for that. However, if they were active participants in the friendship, and it lapsed, then they too share responsibility.
But that's not "stupid." That's just how life goes, particularly when you accept weighty responsibilities like marriage, raising a family, and making sure there's food, a roof, clothing, heat, etc. underneath which said husband and family can dwell.
Those things rightly take priority over such matters.
I've lost touch with most of my old friends; sure, I hear from them time to time -- One of them (http://www.livejournal.com/users/jamminjoe23) recently found LiveJournal and restarted a correspondence with me after a prolonged lack of comm chatter -- but in general, it's very difficult to say that the folks who were once an integral part of my life are more than fond memories now. Mostly that's because I'm not who I was then, and neither are they, so what real obligation do I have to maintain a dialogue with someone who is essentially a stranger now?
That said, when they do try to reconnect, I'm happy to oblige; some have stayed consistently in touch, others haven't. And that's okay.
People change, time marches on, and it's not "your fault" if you've gone down different roads than your friends. Just a part of growing up.
I suspect the folks you've e-mailed will respond, pleasantly, and you may -- or may not -- reconnect. If you don't, it's not a personal failing, Michelle. And if you do, then groovy.
And as to your ability to spontaneously generate friends? I consider you a friend. We've met face-to-face exactly once.
I think you shortchange your abilities in this respect.
I'm just sayin'...
---
Short version: No, you shouldn't feel stupid about making an effort to reconnect with old friends, nor should you feel particularly responsible if those efforts don't bear fruit.
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Date: 2005-02-28 05:20 pm (UTC)From:Er, no.
Oh, should I elaborate? Why, of course.... ;)
If friendships have attenuated, you do share a measure of responsibility for that. However, if they were active participants in the friendship, and it lapsed, then they too share responsibility.
But that's not "stupid." That's just how life goes, particularly when you accept weighty responsibilities like marriage, raising a family, and making sure there's food, a roof, clothing, heat, etc. underneath which said husband and family can dwell.
Those things rightly take priority over such matters.
I've lost touch with most of my old friends; sure, I hear from them time to time -- One of them (http://www.livejournal.com/users/jamminjoe23) recently found LiveJournal and restarted a correspondence with me after a prolonged lack of comm chatter -- but in general, it's very difficult to say that the folks who were once an integral part of my life are more than fond memories now. Mostly that's because I'm not who I was then, and neither are they, so what real obligation do I have to maintain a dialogue with someone who is essentially a stranger now?
That said, when they do try to reconnect, I'm happy to oblige; some have stayed consistently in touch, others haven't. And that's okay.
People change, time marches on, and it's not "your fault" if you've gone down different roads than your friends. Just a part of growing up.
I suspect the folks you've e-mailed will respond, pleasantly, and you may -- or may not -- reconnect. If you don't, it's not a personal failing, Michelle. And if you do, then groovy.
And as to your ability to spontaneously generate friends? I consider you a friend. We've met face-to-face exactly once.
I think you shortchange your abilities in this respect.
I'm just sayin'...
---
Short version: No, you shouldn't feel stupid about making an effort to reconnect with old friends, nor should you feel particularly responsible if those efforts don't bear fruit.
That's my two cents worth, anyhow.
-E