Michelle's Movie Reviews -- Con Air

[eurydicebound]

Back in the realm of movies that suck, today's contribution is Con Air. Again, Con Air is, fairly indisputably I think, a sucky movie. And yet it has moments that carry it beyond its more obvious flaws, flaws such as:

• Nic Cage's horrible accent.


• The plot holes one could drop a 747 through.


• The truly bizarre settings and action sequences. This was truly a film that was structured according to the Feng Shui RPG School of Film Design, wherein the thought "this would be an awesome place for a fight!" occurs and a script is born.

There are more things about the film that suck, but those are some of the more glaring ones. This is a review about why we watch it anyway, though. For me, those things are as follows:

• John Cusack. Aside from the fact that I'd happily watch that man file taxes and that he did this film solely to fund something that was actually worthwhile, he manages to use his supporting role to add unexpected notes of "what the fuck?!?" into the script, thus giving the audience a character to sympathize with in the film's more awkward moments.


• The cast in general. John Malkovich, John Cusack, Nic Cage, Steve Buscemi... okay, maybe not Nic Cage, although I generally like him. The whole cast is filled with people who could have been doing something so much better than this with their time, and yet here they are. They wring every possible bit of good out of a less-than-worthy script. The prime example: where Malkovich manages to pull off "Make a move and the bunny gets it" WITHOUT becoming the laughingstock of the film. Granted, he's got competition for that role, but still. That takes an actor.


• Despite the fact that there is zero, and I do mean zero, chemistry between the primary character and his wife, between Cage and the girl playing his daughter and a well-placed not-actually-LeAnn-Rimes song, the last scene is actually touching.


• Steve Buscemi manages to be quite effectively creepy during the boonies scenes.


• It's just fun. It's crazy, gonzo, Rifts-style, Transmetropolitan-reality-show, "let's see what happens when we land a plane on the Vegas Strip," sort of fun. It's "I magic missile the darkness" sorts of fun. It's the sort of fun you don't really want to admit to unless you've had a couple of beers and you've got blackmail information on your buddies, but it's still fun.


Snack rating: Beer. Likely bad domestic beer. Possibly box wine. Crackers with cheese from a can. Those little sausages with barbeque sauce. And beer. Don't forget the beer. And I don't even like beer.

And that, ladies and gents, is why this movie Doesn't Totally Suck.

Comments

[bodybag-pilgrim.livejournal.com]

I am now compelled to recommend Welcome to the Jungle, or The Rundown as it's known in the US. (Why we get all the sucky re-titlings is beyond me. Anyway.)

Christopher Walken, Seann William Scott, and the Rock, along with the man I dub 'Ultra-Celt' as at different times in the movie he's being Irish, playing bagpipes, and quoting Dylan Thomas.

It's basically a charisma-fest with a very by-the-numbers plot (though what appears to be the obligatory romance doesn't go as you expect) shoehorned around another by-the-numbers plot. The fight scenes are a lot of fun (and, aside from the mandatory Rock Bottom, don't involve pro wrasslin moves), the dialogue's pacey, there are some fun ideas, and while it's a sucky movie it's endearing. (And there's something about an action movie hero who just wants to retire and open his damn restaurant.)

[trollbabe.livejournal.com]

Don't forget Rosario Dawson, who also really works a role that oughta just be lame as hell.

I have to agree - The Rundown is one of those popcorn-munching fun flicks. No redeeming value whatsoever, but at the end, you still somehow had fun.

[adamjury.livejournal.com]

I was very amused when this movie once played as in-flight entertainment.

[metallian.livejournal.com]

I remember seeing that in the theater when it was released...10 years ago, now, but your assessment sounds about right.

[daydreamweaver.livejournal.com]

The non-Leann Rimes song is Trisha Yearwood. She wrote it, Rimes covered it a year or so later, I think.

This is one of my absolute favourite films to watch when I'm in a bad mood. I don't care about the improbability, I just love the surreal moments and the explosions. They make me happy.