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So tell me, sugah, is it hot in he-ah?
Jul. 22nd, 2006 11:18 pmWhy yes, darlin', yes it is. Holy mother of marshmallows is it hot.
Well, okay, it's less hot now, but damn. I mean, yes, it's still not as hot as summer in Oklahoma, but in summer in Oklahoma I had the decency to stay indoors 22 frickin' hours a day with my friend and the love of my life, air conditioning. Alas, AC has forsaken me and all I've got left is stickiness. Feh.
Today saw me bumming a ride with David over to Target to pick up some needed supplies. I will summarize the trip for you thusly:
1) When passing by the snack area at [insert big box store here] and the boys are hungry but you don't want to add another stop, someone in your party may utter the words "Why don't we ever eat at Target?" The presence of a Pizza Hut Express sign might assuage your self-preservation instincts somewhat, and icees may look good. Partake of icees if you must, but for the love of God, do not subject your bowels to the food -- especially the Pizza Hut BBQ chicken pizza. At that point, you will have the answer for why you don't eat there indelibly marked in your brain. Anytime you're in a public restroom and you don't know which end needs to use the facilities first, it's a bad, bad thing.
2) Most automatic stuff we interact these days is nicely armed with a stupid detector, so that it doesn't hurt the stupid person who doesn't get out of its way in time. It should be noted, however, that these detectors are rarely placed in non-optimal locations, like, say, automatic door hinges. Children apparently do not realize this, and can be lulled into a false sense of security about these machines, believing that they could never harm people. Should your child then decide to stick his arm in the automatic door hinge while open because he believed it would not harm him, be prepared to run over and trigger the door to make it open again, all the while he's stuck and screaming.* If you are fortunate, however, he will use his forearm longways rather than his fingers, and thus avoid being snapped like a twig.
3) A day when it's nearing 100 is a less than optimal day to go buy a fan. I did find small 7" adjustable fans, of which I purchased two and placed them strategically.
Tomorrow looks to be equally unpleasant. Bah humbug.
*No Williams were permanently harmed in the making of this post or the antecedent events.
Well, okay, it's less hot now, but damn. I mean, yes, it's still not as hot as summer in Oklahoma, but in summer in Oklahoma I had the decency to stay indoors 22 frickin' hours a day with my friend and the love of my life, air conditioning. Alas, AC has forsaken me and all I've got left is stickiness. Feh.
Today saw me bumming a ride with David over to Target to pick up some needed supplies. I will summarize the trip for you thusly:
1) When passing by the snack area at [insert big box store here] and the boys are hungry but you don't want to add another stop, someone in your party may utter the words "Why don't we ever eat at Target?" The presence of a Pizza Hut Express sign might assuage your self-preservation instincts somewhat, and icees may look good. Partake of icees if you must, but for the love of God, do not subject your bowels to the food -- especially the Pizza Hut BBQ chicken pizza. At that point, you will have the answer for why you don't eat there indelibly marked in your brain. Anytime you're in a public restroom and you don't know which end needs to use the facilities first, it's a bad, bad thing.
2) Most automatic stuff we interact these days is nicely armed with a stupid detector, so that it doesn't hurt the stupid person who doesn't get out of its way in time. It should be noted, however, that these detectors are rarely placed in non-optimal locations, like, say, automatic door hinges. Children apparently do not realize this, and can be lulled into a false sense of security about these machines, believing that they could never harm people. Should your child then decide to stick his arm in the automatic door hinge while open because he believed it would not harm him, be prepared to run over and trigger the door to make it open again, all the while he's stuck and screaming.* If you are fortunate, however, he will use his forearm longways rather than his fingers, and thus avoid being snapped like a twig.
3) A day when it's nearing 100 is a less than optimal day to go buy a fan. I did find small 7" adjustable fans, of which I purchased two and placed them strategically.
Tomorrow looks to be equally unpleasant. Bah humbug.
*No Williams were permanently harmed in the making of this post or the antecedent events.
