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Bitch bitch, whine whine, write write...
Dec. 5th, 2010 03:08 pmOr at least that is the pattern I hope this will follow.
I'm not sure what it is about LJ that is so tempting to use when you're down, or feeling behind, or whatever. I personally know I have a tendency to write "oh god the sky is falling and I've skinned my knee and the water heater exploded and it's NOT FAIR" posts, at least in part because writing it makes me feel better. I have to get it out somewhere, and I don't want to be all whiny in person to the people I love, so instead I whine into my journal and let the people I love read it, because somehow that makes it better than just straight out telling them. I guess this falls into "this actually is a journal for my use, and other people read it," but I'm not sure that makes things noticably better. Oh well.
I really don't want to work right now. My brain has hit "full" and is on end-of-semester notice right now, which means that I am completely without motivation to do anything school related. Unfortunately, things are still due. This is therefore a bad idea. I've been staring at the book I'm supposed to write one more paper about for a freaking hour and a half now, and I have written exactly zero. Granted, it's only a 5-7 page paper, double spaced. Granted, I chose badly (a book of poetry for a semester devoted to prose) for the course, and there are other things that would make it so much easier, but I can do this. It's not that I can't. I can get it done today and have done with it nearly altogether -- or at least I will choose to say that I can, and thus increase the likelihood by simple dint of positive thinking.
I'm just... tired. I want to knit and not think and get my Christmas ornaments out of the garage, and unpack some things, and Christmas shop, and plan for making cookies, and ignore that school exists for just a little while longer. I want to take a nap. I want to just be freaking done already. I want to let my body beat back the vague cold bug that's taken up a meager residence in my sinuses. I want to quietly freak out over the SNOW THAT KEEPS FALLING and find a fire to sit next to and a blanket to pull over me and have a bowl of soup. And it's not that I can't have these things, with the possible exception of the fire (no fireplace here). It's that I can't focus on them YET, for if I do, there will be no happy ending.
*deep breath*
Okay. I have written words. The part of my brain that deals with text has not dried up and blown away. I will stop now and get Matt some eggnog, as he is sick on the couch and asked nicely, and then I will come back and sit down and start writing again, this time on-fucking-topic. And perhaps when this is done, I will come back and review The Warrior's Way, which I saw yesterday with Matt and Sarah, and lo, it was fun. Yea, verily, and all that jazz.
I'm not sure what it is about LJ that is so tempting to use when you're down, or feeling behind, or whatever. I personally know I have a tendency to write "oh god the sky is falling and I've skinned my knee and the water heater exploded and it's NOT FAIR" posts, at least in part because writing it makes me feel better. I have to get it out somewhere, and I don't want to be all whiny in person to the people I love, so instead I whine into my journal and let the people I love read it, because somehow that makes it better than just straight out telling them. I guess this falls into "this actually is a journal for my use, and other people read it," but I'm not sure that makes things noticably better. Oh well.
I really don't want to work right now. My brain has hit "full" and is on end-of-semester notice right now, which means that I am completely without motivation to do anything school related. Unfortunately, things are still due. This is therefore a bad idea. I've been staring at the book I'm supposed to write one more paper about for a freaking hour and a half now, and I have written exactly zero. Granted, it's only a 5-7 page paper, double spaced. Granted, I chose badly (a book of poetry for a semester devoted to prose) for the course, and there are other things that would make it so much easier, but I can do this. It's not that I can't. I can get it done today and have done with it nearly altogether -- or at least I will choose to say that I can, and thus increase the likelihood by simple dint of positive thinking.
I'm just... tired. I want to knit and not think and get my Christmas ornaments out of the garage, and unpack some things, and Christmas shop, and plan for making cookies, and ignore that school exists for just a little while longer. I want to take a nap. I want to just be freaking done already. I want to let my body beat back the vague cold bug that's taken up a meager residence in my sinuses. I want to quietly freak out over the SNOW THAT KEEPS FALLING and find a fire to sit next to and a blanket to pull over me and have a bowl of soup. And it's not that I can't have these things, with the possible exception of the fire (no fireplace here). It's that I can't focus on them YET, for if I do, there will be no happy ending.
*deep breath*
Okay. I have written words. The part of my brain that deals with text has not dried up and blown away. I will stop now and get Matt some eggnog, as he is sick on the couch and asked nicely, and then I will come back and sit down and start writing again, this time on-fucking-topic. And perhaps when this is done, I will come back and review The Warrior's Way, which I saw yesterday with Matt and Sarah, and lo, it was fun. Yea, verily, and all that jazz.
