The Aftermath of Birthdays

So, I had a party scheduled last night, but the snow decided to kick in and only a few dedicated souls were able to make the journey. That's okay -- it was enough. :) We had shredded bison with hard rolls and jus, homemade guacamole and chips, baked onion dip, baked spinach and artichoke dip, root beer floats, and the most amazing cakes -- one with a light chocolate cake, soaked with Grand Marnier syrup, and topped with strawberry whipped cream with chocolate covered strawberries. The other was cupcakes that Teagan insisted on, injected with strawberry puree with red and blue buttercream icing (w/snowflake sprinkles) and fondant medallions with the Rock Band instrument icons painted on, courtesy (as was all the dessert) of Heather. OMG amazing stuff, all around.

Oh, and I made deviled eggs. :)

I am alone for the moment, as everyone else is off either at the store or a baby shower. I will be getting some schoolwork done this afternoon, if I can pull it together. In the meantime, I am 40, my hair is newly purpled again (thank you, Crazy Mullets hair salon!), and I'm happy in a quiet house with doggies (and slightly hoarse from Rock Band last night).

Things I like about being 40:

* People look at me when they find out my age and are genuinely surprised. :)
* I'm in motherfucking grad school, people. I got in and I'm learning, and I will get out and be a prof. How cool is that?
* I find myself better able to figure out when something is worthy my time and energy, and expend it accordingly.
* I've figured out where my limits actually lie, and I'm getting better about asking for help. Knowing myself, I guess.
* I'm smarter now.
* I'm in an amazing relationship with the love of my life (and if you've read this journal for any length of time, you'll know that I never, ever, ever thought I'd be typing that sentence).
* I love where I am, and the people I'm with, and the family I have.

There are things I'm less fond of. There are downsides. There are things that scare me. But they scared me when I was 30, too, I just hadn't been able to spare the time to think about them. I hate being broke. I hate feeling like I can't pull my own weight. I hate the constant, niggling voice in the back of my head that tells me I'm slacking and that I ought to have a damn job, with real income. Then again, none of that is really tied to being 40 either. It just is, and I work through and around it as needed with hugs from friends when necessary.

It was a great birthday. It'll be a really good year. We'll see where we end up from here. :)