Points 3/14

First, a "where are we now?" update. So as I got closer to my MA exam, I gave myself permission to stop keeping track. I just could not deal with the stress. I didn't start binging (though my soda consumption did increase) and I held onto the general habits I've built up, but I let the rest go. Then, promptly upon finishing my MA exam, the sinus infection I'd been holding at bay let loose all its previously denied fury, as well as Matt coming down with stomach flu... it was just ugly all around. I weighed myself unofficially the other day to figure out what the damage was; I had gained a couple pounds, but then this is The Week I Don't Weigh Myself, so it's not anything I'll be too concerned about unless it's there next week. Monday is the next weigh-in, so we'll see how bad it is then.

So, taking it as basically the status quo, I'm getting back on the horse today. No soda yesterday, no soda today. No soda until we game again, basically. I'll put points up a bit later. But that, friends, is the State of the Weight Loss at this time.

So this is what a dissertation is going to feel like....

I've got a paper I'm presenting at a conference weekend after next. I have revised this paper twice already. I just got back feedback from my adviser, which he is very kindly providing for me, in which I get told that what I did in revision was okay, but more is needed. More, more, more, and in about 6 fewer pages. But the first paragraph is now really good.

Sigh.

I'm a good writer, overall. I have flaws, it's true, and I really do need to be in a place where I get unvarnished critique. I will get that here (though not meanspirited critique, which is equally important). It's the only way I'm going to get better. And yet, at the same time, I'm trying to transition from writing as a graduate student to writing as a full-fledged professional. It's the most daunting thing I've ever attempted, because I only now am beginning to see the ways in which I am not there yet, and learning to get to that point... that's going to be a bit of a bruising process. You may not know the book The Hero and The Crown, but there's one point wherein Luthe, the hermit sorcerer, is talking to Aerin, the erstwhile hero, about how exhausting it's been dragging her backwards by the heel through time to get back to where she belongs. I feel like I'm being dragged forward by the heel into really adult scholarship... I hope I can manage to make it on my own once I get there.