Slow burn

[eurydicebound]

Alisdair and Will started school on Wednesday. Alisdair has a new teacher. Three days in, and I'm already on a slow burn toward her.

See, I met with her before school started to check in, inform her of Alisdair's budding ADHD and how bored he can get, and generally make sure she checked in with the special ed teacher and that his IEP (Individual Education Plan) was put into place. I get some platitudes on how she will, but she's sure it'll be fine. Me, I'm seeing how she's going to have 30 kids in her class this year with no help, and I don't think fine is the word, but I let her know I was available to help whenever if she needed me.

Today, she sends a note home with Alisdair. Basically he has problems listening, problems focusing, problems being off in his own little world and forgetting where he was, and was "shooting off rockets" during Math. See, when he's bored, he pretends his pencils are rockets and makes them fly around above his desk. In this case, he's bored because he's mastered addition and subtraction, and his daddy's teaching him multiplication at home. Meanwhile, here at school, they're covering the basic numbers again for the benefit of the kids who haven't seen a number all summer and forgot. So yeah, he's bored. It was also rainy today, so they had no recess -- no chance for him to run around and work off extra energy.

She said "I hope his behavior improves next week." Well, unless they find a way to put him in a smaller class, let him run around, give him the attention needed to keep him on task, or start covering material he hasn't known for a year now, I personally don't see how it could. We've talked about it. It's just not altogether under his control, and I've not had the money to get him to a doctor to be tested and diagnosed formally for ADHD beyond the assessment the school gave last year. Nor do I want to resort to medicine straight off the bat just to keep him sedate in class. So I'm frustrated and pissed off, and so hoping I get to move in the next month or so, whether Seattle or just to the charter school in Wichita Falls. Anything but putting him through this.

Argh.

Comments

[elissa-carey.livejournal.com]

Yeah, sounds like she didn't really listen to you. Doesn't bode well, even if she was just having an off day when you met with her. Did you write her back or call her? Sometimes using that to give a polite reminder of his IEP, at least (even if the teacher doesn't believe he has ADHD due to numerous claims from other parents regarding their children), will help a teacher focus on telling you only when he's not focusing more than usual or is having especial difficulty dealing with him. And since he is further along than the other children, the best I think the teacher can expect from him is to just get his work done and otherwise leave him be so long as he's not being disruptive.

[anaka.livejournal.com]

That's Monday. I'm showing up early to talk to her before class. The problem is that I already know they don't have much in the way of personnel or resources this year to do much about it. I'm considering calling her this weekend beforehand to make sure it gets discussed.

The problem is that I know he is being disruptive at times. There isn't enough room in the classroom for him to be seated away from the others, so even if he's just wiggling in his chair, he's being disruptive.

[elissa-carey.livejournal.com]

That's very unfortunate. Maybe as a last resort (before considering putting him in another classroom or starting medication or anything like that), she could try to give him busy-work and seat him near the students less likely to be distracted by his shenanigans.

Since Josh has ADD, his problem in the main is focusing in order to do the work in the first place. He picks up on what he's being taught as if by osmosis, but applying it via written work (instead of just demonstrating he knows) is another thing entirely. The outward manifestations of his focusing problem is almost the opposite -- no fidgeting, but no working -- so most of the suggestions and tricks I know are more for his sort of problems, unfortunately.

[trollbabe.livejournal.com]

Oh geez honey. I hope you're able to get him moved too. Because you're right - even if the teacher had the best intentions, it just doesn't sound like she's well equipped to do much about him. And well, it doesn't seem her intentions quite rank as high as "best".

I can't imagine how boring it must be for poor Alisdair right now - if I had to sit in class while someone explained stuff I've known cold for a year, I'd be going Calvin on her too. She's just lucky A's only been using his pencil as a rocket. ;)

[b3zsgirl.livejournal.com]

You know...when did all bored kids become ADD? Could it just be that he is bored out of his skull and trying to entertain himself? I am not sure how any kid can deal with that. It seems that we are just trying to medicate them all into some sort of narrow range where they aren't trouble.

I can't wait until I have this problem with C. SIgh

[anidada.livejournal.com]

Yeah, this is what I was thinking. There's no challenge for him, of course he's going to fly rockets and such. Exercising one's imagination sounds a billion times more interesting than sitting through someone droning on about something you already know inside out and backwards (haven't we all had to do that in our adult lives, too? it's why PowerPoint exists!). My heart sank when I read this, and I know it's redundant to say it, but please, "burn" faster if you can, M. I've been him, and it's hell (for everyone). *sigh*

When you do get him tested, make sure they test for underlying LDs -- dealing with those first can often eliminate the ADD without having to go on meds.

*hugs all around* Hang in there. It will get better.

[anaka.livejournal.com]

Well, the determination thus far reads, "he's terribly bright, bored to tears most of the time, and shows mild to moderate ADHD."

As to timing... don't worry. Monday's the absolute latest I'll be stepping this up. We made sure he had an Individual Education Plan for a reason. Legally, they have to use it, and whether she gets that or not, I'm sure as hell not going to let it slide. This counts as a learning disability, is covered under the American Disabilities Act, and they have to accomodate him.

[anidada.livejournal.com]

Thank goodness for that. *sigh* If just reading about this is like a cattle prod poking the mama bear instinct in me, I can't begin to imagine how it must feel for you to be in the thick of it. Alasdair's got a tremendous force on his side, that's for darn sure. *hug*

[anaka.livejournal.com]

Well, he is definitely bored and that doesn't help, but the learning disability they now term ADD or ADHD does run in my family, along with dyslexia in varying degrees. When he's not bored he does cope better, but it's still evident.

I was fortunate in that I managed to find my way through school relatively unscathed (my dyslexia mostly surfaces when I'm writing by hand or trying to tell left from right), but my brother got failed and disciplined from kindergarten on up, for things like bad handwriting and keeping legible papers and disturbing the class and having problems with the logistics of reading and all that dyslexic crap... in many ways more severe than what Alisdair deals with, but externally similar insofar as behavior goes. My dad was even worse off -- in the 40s and 50s, stupid and lazy were the only categories they had for kids like him, neither of which were applicable.

Alisdair's one of those kids that can't shut out everything that's going on around him... he hears the ticking of the clock, the shuffling of papers, someone sneezing, a cricket that he wants to figure out where is, the movement outside the window, kids playing in the schoolyard... all while his teacher wants him to pay attention to his numbers and write neatly too. He can hyperfocus on his imagination or on something stimulating to do really well with it, but getting his attention at those points for anything else is nearly impossible. When something happens that makes him feel out of control or if the stimulus gets to be too much, he'll basically have a meltdown and burst into tears over things that no one would consider a problem but him.

We went through a battery of tests last year and basically got the determination that he's considered at-risk and gets a lot worse when he's bored. He really isn't bad enough off to put on medication, as he can cope with it by altering his environment a bit -- letting him have time away now and then, giving him tests in a quiet room, seating him away from others somewhat, letting him jump ahead in the curriculum when needed.

And yes, I agree, that does seem to be the focus of the average, traditional school atmosphere. It's one reason I'm looking for alternatives. I am not going to spend years fighting with a school system that simply is not equipped or interested in providing the options he needs to succeed if I don't have to, nor will I allow the system to beat his creativity and passion for learning out of him.

If neither you nor Theron tend toward those sorts of problems, there's no reason to think C will. Fret not. It's very, very true that not all kids have this. There's just also no reason not to try to recognize it when it is there.

[b3zsgirl.livejournal.com]

Well...ADD can often be the first signs of tendency towards bipolar disorder, if there is risk for that. This means I will have to watch Clark for it very carefully.

I know you are not going overboard on this. I think it may have come out wrong if you thought that. Let me explain better. I managed my bipolar disorder, which has components of ADD and ADHD, very well with behavioral modifications. In fact my Dr. says that I could teach classes on coping with this. If I stay organized I am less likey to have problems that cause a manic attack, etc. If the kid is having problems with ADD then the first thing to do is get them in a minimizing situation. Medication only helps you stay on track the rest is up to how you handle it. I HATE that schools don't do anything. Problem = more meds. It is often the same for adults. I have read books that tell you that you can't do certain jobs, and I therapist that told me that I should quit mine.

It smacks of lazyness on the part of the school for sure. In fact, it is a diservice to all children to shove them in a box and try to make them the same. People just aren't, and I hope that the charter school movement will help this.

[anaka.livejournal.com]

Ah, got it. Now I see what you're getting at. :) Yes, I agree. One of the things I've been made hopeful by in Seattle schools is that while they do not have charter schools, they do allow alternative schools within their public framework. The variety of what's available there is amazing. Of course, should I get the job, it means I won't be living in Renton (who doesn't have anything near the same alternatives to offer) but rather commuting back and forth from Seattle.

It just gives me hope that if they're willing to consider different ways of educating kids, that maybe they'll be more open to the idea of accomodating different needs for those kids as well. At least, that's what I'm hoping for.

[kezzamorphosis.livejournal.com]

I'm not in your regular circle, and stumbled upon you while reading muskrat_john's friends' journals in search of people I could get acquainted with, but I hope that I can comment and maybe we can get a bit acquainted.

That said... I'm having fun getting my ADD high school senior settled into school this fall. She's had an awful time of it, having just been diagnosed semi-officially this last year. We've busted our tails to get the teachers to work with her, but they have this attitude that she doesn't need anything extra. Are they THAT blind to her report card? Sheesh!

Meanwhile, I'm currently unemployed (but hopefully not much longer) and was diagnosed with it in March. I've done a lot of reading on how to communicate needs, my own as well as hers, and I'm becoming a pretty outspoken lil' mama. So keep the faith, and keep strong.

Alisdair is depending on you!

(PS: I live in eastern Washington now, but lived in Seattle for 5 years and have in-laws over there, so if you want to communicate, please add me to your Friends list and introduce yourself in a response in one of my LJ posts or something, or right here....)

[anaka.livejournal.com]

Hey there. Nice to meet you. :)

Back in the mid-80's, it became apparent that my brother had a learning disability, and my mom was determined that something should be done. She took him to a few different doctors, who finally determined that he had dyslexia and ADD (or whatever they called it at that time). She came back with paperwork and doctor's notes and stuff explaining his problems, and then sat down with every one of his teachers and explained what this was, how it worked, and how it affected his school performance. They all nodded sagely, and then said, "but I'm still failing him, because he's just not getting the work done."

So yes, I understand something of the struggle you're going through right now. I'm hoping I can avoid that same struggle somewhat myself, as there's a lot more legal framework to help deal with his condition now than there was back then. I'll keep a good thought for your daughter, though.

[(Anonymous)]

While I sympathise with your struggles, I'm not sure why the teacher shouldn't have notified you that there was a problem in the classroom? Don't you want to know? Don't you want to support the teacher in getting him to behave in class? You can't just go "Oh, ADD, guess that means free reign."

Sorry, but from the other side of this coin, I'm still pretty bitter that my youngest essentially "lost" all of third grade because of one child. Granted this child had legitamate problems, but every day of class for him (and every other student) was one of watching the teacher deal constantly with this childs fits, melt-downs, and assorted tantrums. Between that and the run of the mill discipline problems every teacher has to deal with, there was essentially no time or attention left for actual teaching. Because my child was essentially well behaved, he was basicaly "shelved" for that school year. That fact, that well behaved kids get ignored in todays school system, continues to make me angry.

[anaka.livejournal.com]

It's not the notification. It's the "I hope his behavior will improve next week," when I've already spoken with her about it. It was the content of the correspondance, not that it existed at all. I'd told her to feel free to contact me at any time to help, so I'm glad she talked to me. It's just... her expectations are completely at odds with what we discussed.

I do understand what you're getting at. That's the whole point behind IEPs, though -- to find a way to get those children what they need without disrupting the entire class, making it a problem for everyone. That's why we went through all the testing and evaluations, to make sure we could find a way to solve these problems to everyone's satisfaction. I know he can be (he isn't always) disruptive under less-than-optimal conditions, but simply disciplining him will not solve the problem. He's not trying to be disruptive, but he also doesn't have the impulse or mental control to fully keep from it. He's a good kid, and he wants to be good, but he needs help.

I encourage her to send him to another room if he's becoming disruptive, or to have him take tests away from other students. We've developed ways to help him focus and not be a disruption (at least not any more than any other kid), but the teacher has to be able and willing to use those methods before it's going to get any better.

I'm sorry about your child's experience. I guess the only thing we can all do is try to find methods that will work best for our own children, and educational environments that can help them be as happy and healthy as possible.