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Parent-Teacher Conferences and tattoos
Nov. 26th, 2003 11:49 pmBeen a while since I updated, so it's time again.
Monday was parent-teacher conference day for both boys, who happen to have the same teacher (one in the morning, one in the afternoon). We've therefore combined the two meetings into one long one. Mostly it was good news, really. Will does great, except that there's a boy in his class who is doomed to be the bane of my existence. The two of them play and fight and play and fight, lather, rinse, repeat. His teacher calls them "magnets," as whatever they're doing, they'll inevitably be drawn to one another. I had been worried previously that Will might be getting bullied, but apparently he gives as good as he gets. He's not starting it, so I'm pretty much satisfied. She said that given that they do play well together as much as they fight, she's just going to step out of it and let them work it out (barring anything coming to blows or otherwise getting out of hand). I have to agree. Can't solve everything for them, and we shouldn't really try.
Alisdair's a bit more of a challenge. He's having some difficulties with his writing and sloppiness in his work, so he's been seeing the occupational therapist. They determined that there was a problem with his fine motor skills, though not a huge one, and are working with him on that some. The bigger problem, though, is not simply his fine motor skills, but his whole palette of attention and self-control skills. Most days are good, but he'll have a day where one thing goes wrong, and he finds it impossible to cope with anything else that day. Some days he stays on task and does his work, and others she can't reach him at all. He takes unexpected changes very hard, and has problems with emotion control as a result... he'll break down into tears, though he's otherwise a very resilient boy. She and the special ed teacher both agree that he's incredibly intelligent (he's the best reader in his class and is quite a bit ahead of his grade level in that respect, and similarly handling math, etc.), extremely imaginative, etc. They're worried that he's got attention problems, though, and concerned about how this will affect him later in his school career.
I think they thought we'd take it badly. I, however, have been preparing myself for that fateful meeting ever since before I had children. My father has severe dyslexia and attention problems. My brother had it as well. I have it to a more limited degree... I find the attention problems get worse as I get older, actually, as bizarre as that seems. My husband, while never diagnosed with anything of the sort, can hyperconcentrate with the best of them. It would not surprise me in the least to find out he had a touch of all this stuff as well. Ergo, it wasn't exactly surprising to me.
What was a pleasant surprise was having the teachers recognize it and urge me to start having him tested to confirm the diagnosis. Apparently now it's well-known enough that if you have it in a child's file, they'll make accomodations for it in later years. If you don't, you're likely SOL, so getting it recognized and documented early is key. When my brother was in school, there was nothing to help, even if you had it diagnosed. He hated school as a result. I won't have my children go through that, not if there's anything on heaven or earth that I can do about it.
In other news, apparently they've discovered that the attention deficit stuff as well as dyslexia are all related to autism, as in they're all considered now to be in the same family of disorders. I hadn't thought of it before, but it definitely makes sense. Also going along with this sometimes is a hypersensitivity to touch (can't handle seams or tags against their skin, or certain stimuli are irritating), the ability to concentrate on a subject to the exclusion of all else (hyperattentive), and other similar things. I think sensitivity to light is possibly one of them as well, though I'm not sure. It's really fascinating. There's also something about not being able to concentrate at all on things that don't fall within your zone of interest. His dad has that as well.
Anyway, I'm just happy that we can do something about getting Alisdair's (and I'm gearing myself up to go through something similar with William next year) issues. They said that his behavior was such that in another child they might recommend holding him back a year, but that they think it's not maturity, but his condition, and holding him back would likely only worsen the situation by boring him and not providing the structure he needs to focus on his work.
In other news, today Will took all my colored gel pens and decided to decorate his stomach and genitals, including coloring the entire end of his penis bright red. With a ball point pen. Painstakingly. His father asked him why he did it, and he said it was because he wanted it red. When asked if it hurt, he admitted that it did. He then explained that he's wanted it red, though, so he did it anyway.
I am in SO much trouble when he gets older. He's going to have tattoos by the time he's 21, be flirting with women,and be cute as hell. He loves to play with hair, dress well, be a dude, and dance. God help me when he hits 16, and he and his tall, charismatic older brother start looking for the ladies together. Ye Gods.
I'll tell you this much, though. If he's going to get a tattoo, I'm going to make damn sure he's a) not a minor first and b) getting something good. I'm not friends with artists for nothin'. I'll make him pay for the artwork, too. Arr.
Monday was parent-teacher conference day for both boys, who happen to have the same teacher (one in the morning, one in the afternoon). We've therefore combined the two meetings into one long one. Mostly it was good news, really. Will does great, except that there's a boy in his class who is doomed to be the bane of my existence. The two of them play and fight and play and fight, lather, rinse, repeat. His teacher calls them "magnets," as whatever they're doing, they'll inevitably be drawn to one another. I had been worried previously that Will might be getting bullied, but apparently he gives as good as he gets. He's not starting it, so I'm pretty much satisfied. She said that given that they do play well together as much as they fight, she's just going to step out of it and let them work it out (barring anything coming to blows or otherwise getting out of hand). I have to agree. Can't solve everything for them, and we shouldn't really try.
Alisdair's a bit more of a challenge. He's having some difficulties with his writing and sloppiness in his work, so he's been seeing the occupational therapist. They determined that there was a problem with his fine motor skills, though not a huge one, and are working with him on that some. The bigger problem, though, is not simply his fine motor skills, but his whole palette of attention and self-control skills. Most days are good, but he'll have a day where one thing goes wrong, and he finds it impossible to cope with anything else that day. Some days he stays on task and does his work, and others she can't reach him at all. He takes unexpected changes very hard, and has problems with emotion control as a result... he'll break down into tears, though he's otherwise a very resilient boy. She and the special ed teacher both agree that he's incredibly intelligent (he's the best reader in his class and is quite a bit ahead of his grade level in that respect, and similarly handling math, etc.), extremely imaginative, etc. They're worried that he's got attention problems, though, and concerned about how this will affect him later in his school career.
I think they thought we'd take it badly. I, however, have been preparing myself for that fateful meeting ever since before I had children. My father has severe dyslexia and attention problems. My brother had it as well. I have it to a more limited degree... I find the attention problems get worse as I get older, actually, as bizarre as that seems. My husband, while never diagnosed with anything of the sort, can hyperconcentrate with the best of them. It would not surprise me in the least to find out he had a touch of all this stuff as well. Ergo, it wasn't exactly surprising to me.
What was a pleasant surprise was having the teachers recognize it and urge me to start having him tested to confirm the diagnosis. Apparently now it's well-known enough that if you have it in a child's file, they'll make accomodations for it in later years. If you don't, you're likely SOL, so getting it recognized and documented early is key. When my brother was in school, there was nothing to help, even if you had it diagnosed. He hated school as a result. I won't have my children go through that, not if there's anything on heaven or earth that I can do about it.
In other news, apparently they've discovered that the attention deficit stuff as well as dyslexia are all related to autism, as in they're all considered now to be in the same family of disorders. I hadn't thought of it before, but it definitely makes sense. Also going along with this sometimes is a hypersensitivity to touch (can't handle seams or tags against their skin, or certain stimuli are irritating), the ability to concentrate on a subject to the exclusion of all else (hyperattentive), and other similar things. I think sensitivity to light is possibly one of them as well, though I'm not sure. It's really fascinating. There's also something about not being able to concentrate at all on things that don't fall within your zone of interest. His dad has that as well.
Anyway, I'm just happy that we can do something about getting Alisdair's (and I'm gearing myself up to go through something similar with William next year) issues. They said that his behavior was such that in another child they might recommend holding him back a year, but that they think it's not maturity, but his condition, and holding him back would likely only worsen the situation by boring him and not providing the structure he needs to focus on his work.
In other news, today Will took all my colored gel pens and decided to decorate his stomach and genitals, including coloring the entire end of his penis bright red. With a ball point pen. Painstakingly. His father asked him why he did it, and he said it was because he wanted it red. When asked if it hurt, he admitted that it did. He then explained that he's wanted it red, though, so he did it anyway.
I am in SO much trouble when he gets older. He's going to have tattoos by the time he's 21, be flirting with women,and be cute as hell. He loves to play with hair, dress well, be a dude, and dance. God help me when he hits 16, and he and his tall, charismatic older brother start looking for the ladies together. Ye Gods.
I'll tell you this much, though. If he's going to get a tattoo, I'm going to make damn sure he's a) not a minor first and b) getting something good. I'm not friends with artists for nothin'. I'll make him pay for the artwork, too. Arr.
