Some things you can't prevent.

Alisdair's school gets out early today. On his own, last night, he suggested a playdate with his best friend, who lives just down the street from his school. I handed him the phone and let him call and ask, which he did, and then I set it up with Troy's mom. It was all good and I was really proud of him. You have no idea how much progress that is.

The discussion that followed, though... that was a lot harder. He and Will and I were discussing school and how Will was worried that Al would embarass him in school next year, being silly and all, and I told him not to worry about it. Al explained how this was true, as it was unlikely they'd be in the same social classes. I thought this was an interesting phrase, so I asked him to explain. He told me, then (with Will helping to explain it) that he was in pretty much the "lowest" social class at school. He likes his friends, don't misunderstand, and he didn't seem unhappy. I asked if other kids picked on him, and he said no. He went on to explain that he avoided the "higher" social classes as much as possible, and that avoided all chance of being picked on. I asked what constituted "higher" and "lower," and it was apparently the number of people in that social class rather than an attribution of quality per se. Still...

I know, as much as I would wish otherwise, that my son is a special education student, and that still carries a stigma of its own in school, even when all the kids are together in class most of the time. He's really smart, he's noticably different in social interaction, and he doesn't read social cues terribly. To another 12 or 13 year old, he stands out like a sore thumb. I'm incredibly grateful that he has this program and a few really good friends (who are also in the program). But it kills me -- kills me -- to hear about his "social classification." He's such a beautiful, awesome kid, and I want everyone else to know it and appreciate him the way I do. And the knowledge that they won't... that they actually can't, as most of them aren't built to do it and don't yet have the skills in place... god. That just tears at me. I want to go back in time to a point where the fact that he was different didn't mean he was excluded or an outcast and make the world stick to that. I also know that someday, when he's grown, the differences won't be as pronounced as they are now. Maybe even before he gets out of high school it'll happen, but definitely later. He's capable of that, and he's learned so much that he'll be able to bridge those differences when he chooses to.

In the meantime, though, I should be grateful that he has his friends and that they care about him and think he's cool, and be satisfied with that. It seems that he is, and I guess that has to be enough.

(no subject)

Went in today to the latest job prospect and took my editing and proofreading tests. Got to meet some people and was told that the potential manager had been telling people about me, so that's a good sign. I found out there are three people taking the tests, but I'm the first one to get them all back in. I should know next week one way or the other. I know I did well on the tests, though. It was good work.

I've gotten way behind on my reading for classes. I'm mostly treading water for Honors English, but I'm really falling back on my work for the Epic Tradition, even though the reading for that is technically less. Ostensibly I have the days between classes to catch up on reading and prep for papers, but I'm not actually doing it. Instead I'm picking up kids and running errands and cleaning my house. Don't get me wrong, the house needs the help and the errands... well, if they involve getting a job, I'm all about it. I'm just realizing that I'm not making the grade, and that my weekend hours are now going to be taken up quite a bit with the part-time job doing moderation for an online kids' game that I just landed. I can absolutely use the money no matter what, so I don't see myself giving this up for some time to come, but it's going to eat into my time for homework, no question. I can make it up by not being social, but then that's me not being social. Yeah. That'll work, really.

Go in tomorrow for my final academic advising appointment before enrolling for my last quarter. Pick my classes not long thereafter, too. One more quarter after this and I'm done. Four more months and I'm done. Well, assuming I don't get into grad school, anyway. And even then, I'm at least done for the summer. But... the idea of possibly not having classes and homework and whatnot... it's almost a foreign idea at this point. The word "done" does not compute. :) Also, I found out that my undergraduate honors thesis is, ideally, supposed to be an extension of the papers we write in one of the first two quarters. This is... well, can be useful, I guess. But my plan for my thesis was something else entirely. I could still do that, but I'll have to seriously hustle to get that dealt with, as "first drafts" of the first 5-7 pages are due really early on.

My plan was to do a paper that dealt with the changes to the family state of the Gothic novel over time, how it progressed from the initial patriarchal, nuclear family of traditional sane people (albeit with their own, um... well, eccentricities sometimes or occasionally missing family members) that disintegrated into dysfunction. Over time, though, greater and greater levels of dysfunction crept into the initial stages of the family setting, until the modern day Gothic novel of Gothic-derived fiction often has no obvious family creche as its starting point, instead using a constructed or obviously stunted "family" as the origin point, from which things devolve. I know this is awesome and means something, I just have to find a good way of stating what that is.

On the other hand, I could just use the Wieland paper again and have done with it. It's already 15 pages long. Another five wouldn't be that big a deal, even if I'm having to add more sources or look at something more deeply. I could save the examination of the Gothic novel thingy for later, or possibly shift it to the theme of "castles by any other name" and examine the changing role of houses in these books over the decades and still save it for later.... I dunno. And I have a group project or two and another unrelated paper to write first. It's not something I have to decide right now, no matter what. It's just productive to not wait until the last minute.

Anyway. That's some of what's going on today. Lots of stuff. *vague handwaving*

Oh yeah...

Another year down, another notch on the belt. Let's get the next one started already. Happy birthday to me. :)