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Thresholds
Jan. 26th, 2012 12:03 pmThis is, apparently, my year of thresholds. Married again, MA exam, graduation, presenting a paper, etc. A new business, a new book, a new... well, take it as you will. Lots of news; lots of unexplored territory.
I hate thresholds. And it's not that there's not a lot of good things on the far side of them; usually a threshold can reliably be seen as a positive. It's that there's the point of no return... the impending moment of change beyond which there is nothing to be done but accept it. The moment when it is out of your hands, and all you can do is take whatever comes, even if that "whatever" is likely to be very good. All you know for sure, though, is that the thing you knew and were familiar with is ending, and something else is taking its place. In that respect, it's not even like change, because change might just be a variation on what you already have, and aspects of the already-having will continue on. A threshold, however, by definition means a crossing across spaces or conditions. There will be an ending and a beginning. In nomine Patris, et Filii, et Spiritu Sancti, Amen. Or something like that, in any case.
So, yes. Threshold hating. Boundary pushing, "but I'm not ready to let go yet," holy-fuck-here-it-comes bracing, threshold crossing. It utterly terrifies me.
This is possibly ironic given how many of this Rubicons I've been through--hell, actively sought out, especially in the last few years. Every one of them has been positive, too. They all take a toll, though... no ferryman works without a fee. Every crossing has a cost. I fear the costs; I fear the loss. I fear that this time when I take that step into the unknown, a chasm will await me--and this time it'll drag those I love down too. *shudder*
In the next week, I must apply for graduation. I must also start working on the question for my MA exam, and I must get a ton of reading done. I will graduate or I won't, but the signatures must be in place before my birthday. I will pass the MA exam or I won't, but I must be prepared for it regardless. I will get into my program of choice or I won't, but I must press forward as though I will. "Come back with your shield or on it," indeed. This isn't the last set of thresholds I'll cross... and maybe someday it'll be less terrifying. For now, though... sufficient unto the day is the evil thereof.* I may be coming here to make random noises of panic for the next six weeks, though, so be prepared.
*Thresholds evidently make me quote things a lot. Sigh.
I hate thresholds. And it's not that there's not a lot of good things on the far side of them; usually a threshold can reliably be seen as a positive. It's that there's the point of no return... the impending moment of change beyond which there is nothing to be done but accept it. The moment when it is out of your hands, and all you can do is take whatever comes, even if that "whatever" is likely to be very good. All you know for sure, though, is that the thing you knew and were familiar with is ending, and something else is taking its place. In that respect, it's not even like change, because change might just be a variation on what you already have, and aspects of the already-having will continue on. A threshold, however, by definition means a crossing across spaces or conditions. There will be an ending and a beginning. In nomine Patris, et Filii, et Spiritu Sancti, Amen. Or something like that, in any case.
So, yes. Threshold hating. Boundary pushing, "but I'm not ready to let go yet," holy-fuck-here-it-comes bracing, threshold crossing. It utterly terrifies me.
This is possibly ironic given how many of this Rubicons I've been through--hell, actively sought out, especially in the last few years. Every one of them has been positive, too. They all take a toll, though... no ferryman works without a fee. Every crossing has a cost. I fear the costs; I fear the loss. I fear that this time when I take that step into the unknown, a chasm will await me--and this time it'll drag those I love down too. *shudder*
In the next week, I must apply for graduation. I must also start working on the question for my MA exam, and I must get a ton of reading done. I will graduate or I won't, but the signatures must be in place before my birthday. I will pass the MA exam or I won't, but I must be prepared for it regardless. I will get into my program of choice or I won't, but I must press forward as though I will. "Come back with your shield or on it," indeed. This isn't the last set of thresholds I'll cross... and maybe someday it'll be less terrifying. For now, though... sufficient unto the day is the evil thereof.* I may be coming here to make random noises of panic for the next six weeks, though, so be prepared.
*Thresholds evidently make me quote things a lot. Sigh.
Santa Maria, Madre de Dios....
Jan. 24th, 2012 10:05 pmI have just updated all the tasks in my Google Calendar for the next semester, including the MA exam. I feel as though I agreed to get on a roller coaster I'd heard about but somehow didn't really see before I got on the ride, and now we're nearing the top of a huge drop, and my heart's already somewhere around my knees as I see the upcoming looming death.
Seriously, y'all. This is gonna be an UGLY six weeks. Think good thoughts for me, if you would be so kind.
Seriously, y'all. This is gonna be an UGLY six weeks. Think good thoughts for me, if you would be so kind.
Food 1/18/2012
Jan. 18th, 2012 08:17 pmPoints: 36
Banked: -1
I've really been struggling with the cranky and feeling on the edge of crashy today. I was still hungry at the end of dinner, so I ended up having a bit of ice cream -- which was too high in points for what I had available, but not so over that I felt like I couldn't make it up and still be responsible. Tomorrow I'll be much more responsible and not start my day off with cereal, which kinda killed me, if I'm looking at it rationally. Need protein and fat and fiber in the morning, not highly processed carbs and sugars. Yogurt and toast and fruit tomorrow.
( Read more... )
Banked: -1
I've really been struggling with the cranky and feeling on the edge of crashy today. I was still hungry at the end of dinner, so I ended up having a bit of ice cream -- which was too high in points for what I had available, but not so over that I felt like I couldn't make it up and still be responsible. Tomorrow I'll be much more responsible and not start my day off with cereal, which kinda killed me, if I'm looking at it rationally. Need protein and fat and fiber in the morning, not highly processed carbs and sugars. Yogurt and toast and fruit tomorrow.
( Read more... )
Mawwage...
Jan. 17th, 2012 10:41 amThe bwessed awwaingement... that bwings us togevvah, today.
Okay, so, I got married. 4th of January. A Wednesday.* We didn't want to do a big wedding (and couldn't afford one in any case) so we got Matt's mom, Heather and Aaron and the littles, my boys, Sarah (who brought Max), Karafa, and Nicole, who flew in from Arizona to be here for me. We'd initially thought of getting married close to home, but it turns out that the closest Municipal Court (and the one we'd qualify for, Berea) didn't do weddings until the 12th. This was not logistically acceptable because it meant my boys couldn't be there, so we started looking around. Heather recommended the Lewis County court house, as she thought they only charged $15. That's Toledo, for those not Ohio-oriented (or if I got the county name wrong). We decided that a road trip to Toledo to get married by the Justice of the Peace sounded like a fine idea, since it seemed in so many ways to symbolize the relationship we've had. :)
So. I wore my red dress and new black boots with impractical heels (that are only sort of piratey) and didn't finish my shawl -- 2/3 done, but just could not close the deal -- so I took my clapotis for a shawl and went off to get married. Matt wore his kilt hose, kilt shoes (I don't know what they're called), a white shirt, his Prince Charlie jacket, and a leather top hat with his clan crest on it and we all drove off to Toledo (the boys were very nicely dressed in shirts and ties and Will had a pinstripe blazer, which he loves).
We carpooled/caravaned our way there. Once arriving, we checked in, paid our fee, and went to the courtroom. The hallway was filled with far less cheerful people who were waiting to do far less cheerful court things. We were okay, though--marriages were last, so we ended up waiting about an hour. There was a couple who got married before us. They just wore street clothes and she was pretty obviously pregnant, but they smiled a lot getting married, especially the groom, and it was very sweet. Then we all trouped in -- apparently the JoP doesn't get a lot of weddings with an entourage.
I had my bouquet (red roses and purple daisy-type things) and my vows, but we didn't actually go over the service in advance, so there wasn't room. Instead, we ended up doing a more traditional service which made our friends chuckle as we both promised a lot of "verra improbable things," to be Scottish for a moment. Then I gave him the wrong hand and he didn't notice, and then after the fact I switched rings under cover of the bouquet, and then we were married and there was a smooch.
There was a great deal of hugging and congratulating, and then I left my purse and had to go back and get it, and then we went to the Toledo Museum of Art only to discover that it was closing in 20 minutes, so we didn't get a lot of time. I also took in my bouquet only to discover that wasn't allowed for fear of bugs... so I ended up going down to wait with it, only Matt cleverly came after me and put it in the cloakroom and then we all went back upstairs. I got to see amazing art--I had no idea it was that completely awesome. I will absolutely be going back. I have an appointment to stare at a Van Gogh, after all.
Anyway, by then I was sorta falling over because I'd had half a fritter and no coffee and then got married that day, so we went to Matt and Heather's old workplace, which used to be called Sufficient Grounds but was now a differently named coffee shop. We had coffee and I felt greatly restored, and then we went to get Japanese food at Kotobuki, a restaurant where his family used to go when they lived there. The food wasn't as good as it has been in the past, apparently, but they still remember him.
We ate and had a good time and then we all went home and fell over. Whew.
The next two days were spent in a whirlwind of cleaning, and I owe Nicole so much for that. OMG, that woman is amazing. We got the house all spiffy--at least the living room, dining room, kitchen, and the two bathrooms--and we had a reception. People came! We had a good turnout and and an awesome spread (even if Leo did steal one of the Salumi salamis--sigh) and a cake that was awesome and Michelle-friendly: a sponge cake soaked in coffee syrup, layered with marscapone mixed with marsala wine and dusted with cocoa, frosted with a chocolate buttercream made with goat butter and chocolate soy milk. It was amazing. There was Rock Band and wine and visiting and generally having a really good time. I am so grateful for all our friends--it was the best party ever. :)
And that's pretty much the way that worked. Go Team Marriage!
*This spawned the comment when Sarah asked for the day off of "Who the hell gets married on a Wednesday???" Us, that's who. :)
Okay, so, I got married. 4th of January. A Wednesday.* We didn't want to do a big wedding (and couldn't afford one in any case) so we got Matt's mom, Heather and Aaron and the littles, my boys, Sarah (who brought Max), Karafa, and Nicole, who flew in from Arizona to be here for me. We'd initially thought of getting married close to home, but it turns out that the closest Municipal Court (and the one we'd qualify for, Berea) didn't do weddings until the 12th. This was not logistically acceptable because it meant my boys couldn't be there, so we started looking around. Heather recommended the Lewis County court house, as she thought they only charged $15. That's Toledo, for those not Ohio-oriented (or if I got the county name wrong). We decided that a road trip to Toledo to get married by the Justice of the Peace sounded like a fine idea, since it seemed in so many ways to symbolize the relationship we've had. :)
So. I wore my red dress and new black boots with impractical heels (that are only sort of piratey) and didn't finish my shawl -- 2/3 done, but just could not close the deal -- so I took my clapotis for a shawl and went off to get married. Matt wore his kilt hose, kilt shoes (I don't know what they're called), a white shirt, his Prince Charlie jacket, and a leather top hat with his clan crest on it and we all drove off to Toledo (the boys were very nicely dressed in shirts and ties and Will had a pinstripe blazer, which he loves).
We carpooled/caravaned our way there. Once arriving, we checked in, paid our fee, and went to the courtroom. The hallway was filled with far less cheerful people who were waiting to do far less cheerful court things. We were okay, though--marriages were last, so we ended up waiting about an hour. There was a couple who got married before us. They just wore street clothes and she was pretty obviously pregnant, but they smiled a lot getting married, especially the groom, and it was very sweet. Then we all trouped in -- apparently the JoP doesn't get a lot of weddings with an entourage.
I had my bouquet (red roses and purple daisy-type things) and my vows, but we didn't actually go over the service in advance, so there wasn't room. Instead, we ended up doing a more traditional service which made our friends chuckle as we both promised a lot of "verra improbable things," to be Scottish for a moment. Then I gave him the wrong hand and he didn't notice, and then after the fact I switched rings under cover of the bouquet, and then we were married and there was a smooch.
There was a great deal of hugging and congratulating, and then I left my purse and had to go back and get it, and then we went to the Toledo Museum of Art only to discover that it was closing in 20 minutes, so we didn't get a lot of time. I also took in my bouquet only to discover that wasn't allowed for fear of bugs... so I ended up going down to wait with it, only Matt cleverly came after me and put it in the cloakroom and then we all went back upstairs. I got to see amazing art--I had no idea it was that completely awesome. I will absolutely be going back. I have an appointment to stare at a Van Gogh, after all.
Anyway, by then I was sorta falling over because I'd had half a fritter and no coffee and then got married that day, so we went to Matt and Heather's old workplace, which used to be called Sufficient Grounds but was now a differently named coffee shop. We had coffee and I felt greatly restored, and then we went to get Japanese food at Kotobuki, a restaurant where his family used to go when they lived there. The food wasn't as good as it has been in the past, apparently, but they still remember him.
We ate and had a good time and then we all went home and fell over. Whew.
The next two days were spent in a whirlwind of cleaning, and I owe Nicole so much for that. OMG, that woman is amazing. We got the house all spiffy--at least the living room, dining room, kitchen, and the two bathrooms--and we had a reception. People came! We had a good turnout and and an awesome spread (even if Leo did steal one of the Salumi salamis--sigh) and a cake that was awesome and Michelle-friendly: a sponge cake soaked in coffee syrup, layered with marscapone mixed with marsala wine and dusted with cocoa, frosted with a chocolate buttercream made with goat butter and chocolate soy milk. It was amazing. There was Rock Band and wine and visiting and generally having a really good time. I am so grateful for all our friends--it was the best party ever. :)
And that's pretty much the way that worked. Go Team Marriage!
*This spawned the comment when Sarah asked for the day off of "Who the hell gets married on a Wednesday???" Us, that's who. :)
Points, 1/15 and 1/16
Jan. 17th, 2012 09:18 am1/15:
Points: 41
Banked: -1
( Read more... )
1/16:
Weight: 228.2 -- I suspect this is artificially inflated from the tummy issues and the carbs the night before (and weighing this morning kinda confirms it) but this is the official number.
Weight lost: .6 lbs
Points: 31
Banked: -1
( Read more... )
Points: 41
Banked: -1
( Read more... )
1/16:
Weight: 228.2 -- I suspect this is artificially inflated from the tummy issues and the carbs the night before (and weighing this morning kinda confirms it) but this is the official number.
Weight lost: .6 lbs
Points: 31
Banked: -1
( Read more... )
curse the darkness playtest packet!
Jan. 13th, 2012 02:16 pmSo, as you may know, Matt and I are joining forces to create our own little game company called Play Attention, and the first offering we're putting out there is called curse the darkness with a planned summer 2012 debut. We've got an open beta available for the playtest doc, which is now up at www.cursethedarkness.net. The more the merrier, so join in and let your friends know, all right?
I'm back in the saddle, again...
Jan. 11th, 2012 01:49 pmHmm.
*squints at the title*
Anyway.
Something the past year or so has taught me is that stress + someone else cooking = me gaining weight! So, yes, watching my diet once more, as those who have seen two food posts have already likely determined, if it crossed your mind at all. I'm not going to call it dieting, because honestly... it's not terribly different from what I'd do normally, albeit lighter on the carbs and sugar and heavier on the veggies. It requires eating veggies with intent, rather than because they happen to find their way onto my plate once a day or so. I kind of hate Intentional Eating of Veggies, honestly... not because I hate veggies, because I don't, but rather because it means reworking how I think of food again and trying to work with unfamiliar things. I'm trying a couple of new things to see how I feel about them, because in order to make this work, I have to find a method that involves the least mouth-feel-augh with the least prep... and then once I find a couple of things that I like that way, I can eventually increase its footprint in my diet, if that makes sense.
Today's special new effort was carrot sticks with light-on-the-mayo tuna salad w/ green chile. The tuna salad was left over from yesterday, but the carrot sticks had a bit of prep involved. That's okay, though... I had some triscuits too, and I was sad when I ran out of tuna salad before I ran out of carrot, but the strange thing for me to discover was that the crackers were optional for me -- the carrot sticks were sufficient. That's a mark in the win column right there.
On the downside, I have discovered that I cannot run currently -- no way, no how, or at least certainly not more than a few steps. My ankle won't put up with it in the least. I'm also out of shape cardio-wise, but that's actually not the limiting factor as things stand now. Doing my own physical therapy for that SUCKS, not the least because I'm afraid of doing something actually damaging. I so wish I'd had an actual doctor overseeing my care and not just my surgery when I had my ankle put back together, but I didn't even get one session... and as a result I really don't know squat about how to make a broke bit less broken functionally. The only thing I can think of to do is walk briskly for a while and try running a few steps now and again to push myself, and then maybe trying to do the leg press machine where you flex and push with your feet... and maybe one of those not-much-weight balancing exercises for stamina that works all the tiny little muscles in your ankle and foot to get them used to pulling their weight again. And possibly lunges, which might be one of those aforementioned exercises. Mayhap I should also ask Heather -- she would likely have some good suggestions for me.
I spent a little while earlier looking over old entries--I'd forgotten that over 2008/2009 I'd lost nearly 20 lbs, a weight loss that took place while my life was briefly stable, only to end when I got laid off/stressed/short on funds yet again. I liked me without that weight; I'd like to have it off again, maybe plus a bit. We'll see if I can work the magic one more time.
*squints at the title*
Anyway.
Something the past year or so has taught me is that stress + someone else cooking = me gaining weight! So, yes, watching my diet once more, as those who have seen two food posts have already likely determined, if it crossed your mind at all. I'm not going to call it dieting, because honestly... it's not terribly different from what I'd do normally, albeit lighter on the carbs and sugar and heavier on the veggies. It requires eating veggies with intent, rather than because they happen to find their way onto my plate once a day or so. I kind of hate Intentional Eating of Veggies, honestly... not because I hate veggies, because I don't, but rather because it means reworking how I think of food again and trying to work with unfamiliar things. I'm trying a couple of new things to see how I feel about them, because in order to make this work, I have to find a method that involves the least mouth-feel-augh with the least prep... and then once I find a couple of things that I like that way, I can eventually increase its footprint in my diet, if that makes sense.
Today's special new effort was carrot sticks with light-on-the-mayo tuna salad w/ green chile. The tuna salad was left over from yesterday, but the carrot sticks had a bit of prep involved. That's okay, though... I had some triscuits too, and I was sad when I ran out of tuna salad before I ran out of carrot, but the strange thing for me to discover was that the crackers were optional for me -- the carrot sticks were sufficient. That's a mark in the win column right there.
On the downside, I have discovered that I cannot run currently -- no way, no how, or at least certainly not more than a few steps. My ankle won't put up with it in the least. I'm also out of shape cardio-wise, but that's actually not the limiting factor as things stand now. Doing my own physical therapy for that SUCKS, not the least because I'm afraid of doing something actually damaging. I so wish I'd had an actual doctor overseeing my care and not just my surgery when I had my ankle put back together, but I didn't even get one session... and as a result I really don't know squat about how to make a broke bit less broken functionally. The only thing I can think of to do is walk briskly for a while and try running a few steps now and again to push myself, and then maybe trying to do the leg press machine where you flex and push with your feet... and maybe one of those not-much-weight balancing exercises for stamina that works all the tiny little muscles in your ankle and foot to get them used to pulling their weight again. And possibly lunges, which might be one of those aforementioned exercises. Mayhap I should also ask Heather -- she would likely have some good suggestions for me.
I spent a little while earlier looking over old entries--I'd forgotten that over 2008/2009 I'd lost nearly 20 lbs, a weight loss that took place while my life was briefly stable, only to end when I got laid off/stressed/short on funds yet again. I liked me without that weight; I'd like to have it off again, maybe plus a bit. We'll see if I can work the magic one more time.
Food 1/9/2012
Jan. 10th, 2012 10:23 amStarting weight: 228
Daily pts: 26-31
<cut>
Breakfast: 7
1 egg, 1 pc whole-grain toast, 1 tbsp margarine, 6 oz juice
Coffee: 1
Snack: 3
Grape tomatoes, .5 oz blue cheese, triscuits
Coffee: 1
Snack: 2
1 oz cheese, 2 triscuits
Snack: 2
2 squares dark chocolate
Dinner: 7
shrimp, broccoli and pasta in light sauce, pepsi in can
Dessert: 1/2 cup ice cream (because I was under my minimum
Daily pts: 26-31
<cut>
Breakfast: 7
1 egg, 1 pc whole-grain toast, 1 tbsp margarine, 6 oz juice
Coffee: 1
Snack: 3
Grape tomatoes, .5 oz blue cheese, triscuits
Coffee: 1
Snack: 2
1 oz cheese, 2 triscuits
Snack: 2
2 squares dark chocolate
Dinner: 7
shrimp, broccoli and pasta in light sauce, pepsi in can
Dessert: 1/2 cup ice cream (because I was under my minimum
2011 Retrospective
Jan. 1st, 2012 11:43 amWhee! Happy New Year! Let's see what the ol' LJ did last year. :)
January: Well then. After four or six weeks off thanks to finals and illness and the holiday season, we finally had another session of Dresden on Monday, something to round out the old year.
February: So, I had a party scheduled last night, but the snow decided to kick in and only a few dedicated souls were able to make the journey.
March: So, between weather and school and one thing and another, we've had something like two sessions now that I've totally forgot to blog about. (Re: Dresden Files RPG)
April: It's a melancholy sort of night.
May: So I'm done with school and Matt pointed out that there has not been character creation in some time, so here we are.
June: Last week, on the 25th of May, my dog Rosie was hit by a car.
July: You know, I never realized how much my kids and my ex drove my posting.
August: Here I sit, in a hotel in Plainfield (?) Indiana, just outside of Indianapolis.
September: So... Labor Day has come and gone. I worked three days this weekend, and gamed two.
October: Yesterday I had a convenient movie date with Matt. We went up to the Capitol to see Tucker and Dale vs Evil, a little indie movie starring Alan Tudyk.
November: I use ghosts as a metaphor on a regular basis in my life.
December: Talked to my guy.
-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Well. That wasn't exactly informative, was it? Except for June. Blech. I think as far as my journal goes, the important lesson was that in 2011 my posting habits tapered off dramatically. This is not through some disenchantment with LJ, but rather that grad school eats my life, as should be expected, I think. I'm working on fixing that somewhat, but if I'm being completely honest, until the MA exam is over, it probably won't get significantly better.
Also... I'm in a good place, frankly. 2011 was a good year for me overall, though I'm aware it was hardly even-handed in its approach to life as a whole. It worked on cleaning up 2010's mess, and I think that made it surly. God knows I would have been in its place. For me, though... I've gotten settled in, I'm doing well in school, I've gotten engaged, I lose Rosie but gained Si, my kids are healthy and pretty much happy, Matt's kids are thriving, I am loved and love in return, and I have a place that's my own to be and fix and set down roots in -- and I don't think I've really had that before, not in a very, very long time and never as I do now.
I'm really happy here. Money is tight, but when has it ever not been? And while it's tight in the sense of not having a lot of extra money, it's not tight in the "not making our bills" sense. We're paying down debt and getting things together and over the next couple of years, things will improve dramatically on that front. In a few days I'll be married, and it feels like with that, my transition is more or less complete. To and from what, I'm not entirely sure, but that's definitely a big milestone. All in all, I expect good things from 2012. :)
January: Well then. After four or six weeks off thanks to finals and illness and the holiday season, we finally had another session of Dresden on Monday, something to round out the old year.
February: So, I had a party scheduled last night, but the snow decided to kick in and only a few dedicated souls were able to make the journey.
March: So, between weather and school and one thing and another, we've had something like two sessions now that I've totally forgot to blog about. (Re: Dresden Files RPG)
April: It's a melancholy sort of night.
May: So I'm done with school and Matt pointed out that there has not been character creation in some time, so here we are.
June: Last week, on the 25th of May, my dog Rosie was hit by a car.
July: You know, I never realized how much my kids and my ex drove my posting.
August: Here I sit, in a hotel in Plainfield (?) Indiana, just outside of Indianapolis.
September: So... Labor Day has come and gone. I worked three days this weekend, and gamed two.
October: Yesterday I had a convenient movie date with Matt. We went up to the Capitol to see Tucker and Dale vs Evil, a little indie movie starring Alan Tudyk.
November: I use ghosts as a metaphor on a regular basis in my life.
December: Talked to my guy.
-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Well. That wasn't exactly informative, was it? Except for June. Blech. I think as far as my journal goes, the important lesson was that in 2011 my posting habits tapered off dramatically. This is not through some disenchantment with LJ, but rather that grad school eats my life, as should be expected, I think. I'm working on fixing that somewhat, but if I'm being completely honest, until the MA exam is over, it probably won't get significantly better.
Also... I'm in a good place, frankly. 2011 was a good year for me overall, though I'm aware it was hardly even-handed in its approach to life as a whole. It worked on cleaning up 2010's mess, and I think that made it surly. God knows I would have been in its place. For me, though... I've gotten settled in, I'm doing well in school, I've gotten engaged, I lose Rosie but gained Si, my kids are healthy and pretty much happy, Matt's kids are thriving, I am loved and love in return, and I have a place that's my own to be and fix and set down roots in -- and I don't think I've really had that before, not in a very, very long time and never as I do now.
I'm really happy here. Money is tight, but when has it ever not been? And while it's tight in the sense of not having a lot of extra money, it's not tight in the "not making our bills" sense. We're paying down debt and getting things together and over the next couple of years, things will improve dramatically on that front. In a few days I'll be married, and it feels like with that, my transition is more or less complete. To and from what, I'm not entirely sure, but that's definitely a big milestone. All in all, I expect good things from 2012. :)
